I told you about my friends and my husbands..now my son!!!

Nicholas (whose picture I will add when my computer is working) is 9 years old and the spitting image of his mother...lucky boy... smart (when he wants to be), terrible temper (like mother) huge appetite (like his mother) but not only for food but for life as well. If I had one quarter of his energy I would be set for life. Nicholas is and will be my only child as I am unable to have anymore. Now I am the first to say it, I make beautiful babies but I am a horrid lousy mother. Part of it is that I am bi-polar (along with a variety of other medical problems) and I have my good days and my bad days. On my bad days the slightest noise sends me into outer space, it takes every ounce of strength that I have to survive work never mind an active 9 year old and his messy rude little friends...the noise level bounces in my empty head like a tennis ball til I am ready to rip it off my shoulders and all I can do is scream. Nicholas does his best but when I am having a day like that it is better no one is near me.

Nicholas for his own good and his sanity so he doesn't turn out mentally unstable like his mother lives with my parents who spoil him like no ones business. My mother was a rotten horrid mother but I have to give her credit she is great to Nicholas and her and my father would die or kill for him no matter what the cost to them. I honestly think that if god forbid anything ever happened to Nicholas it would kill both of them. Since the day that boy was born my mother and father drew this protective little circle around him that is next to impossible to break even for his mother. He loves me as any good son should but he has the respect and manners for his grandmother that he should have for his mother...oooh well. As long as he is happy and healthly who gives a damn.

My hopes and dreams for my son...he is happy, healthly, safe in this crazy world, that he gets a great education, becomes what his mother couldn't be...successful and that he stay a virgin until he is married. Yes now that everyone has stopped laughing at the last comment, I do not want to think of my baby having sex...ever...
I make this comment and my husband (who is not Nicholas's father) laughs so hard he has trouble breathing, most people do. I guess I am going to be one of those mothers who feels no woman will ever be good enough for her baby. He will find that one woman (I hope) and not be the slut his mother is...lol

Now I could go on like any mother about her children, but I will add Nicholas's escapedes to this as time goes on....I don't want to bore anyone too much...

Especially when I could be continuing my little tirade from yesterday on uninformed people and my lifestyle.

Last night my husband was at my new apartment putting together the last of the furniture and we were having a pretty good time and than one of our "special" friends comes over. Now this guy and his wife are really nice people and seem to have an amazing and adventerous sex life....hell she will fuck anything anywhere she says...gotta feel sorry for him to a certain degree....lol...personally I think he gets off it just a little as does my husband knowing I am out fucking whomever and will come home and tell him...it is almost like they want to see if they "measure up"...lol...usually they do.

So this guy comes over and we are having this discussion on leather and whips and how he is looking for a starter whip to use on wifey and asks me to go shopping with him..like I would ever say no to an offer like that...next to shoes shopping for leather and whips is my favorite past time...can't wait to do that...

Now I freely admit that I am a member of several "alternative" lifestyle websites...why because if I didn't I would never find anyone who was into what we are into and to look at us, we look like any other middle aged couple who works to hard. The only difference with us is when you walk into our houses is that if you manage to catch me at a bad unprepared time, you may see a whip laying around. Too look at me, I personally don't think anyone would ever guess that I use to Pro Domme or that I love to be whipped til I am exhausted. I look like a mom who does PTA shit and goes to little league...yuck!!!!

As I am sure that any of my friends will attest to I am a great hostess, always have liqour in my freezer, cold glasses and lots of food and music handy....now that I have to a certain degree "come out of the closet" some are shocked by my lifestyle and refuse to acknowledge who or what I am and think I am some kind of perverted pain slut who is too weird for words...(ok I am but that is something else all together)...and to be honest some have stopped speaking to me. As said in an earlier entry I don't judge anyone and it would be appreciated if my so called friends who are far from perfect could have the same respect.

My husband has just this past year discovered his Dominant side. Now two dominant personalities in a relationship makes for some interesting fights. We both always want to be right and obviously can't be...(usually I am but would never let him know that...lol) I have tried to educate him as best as I can in the lifestyle but not always easy to show someone how to weld a whip without a willing subject. I do my best but I am in the process of hopefully helping him find a willing subject that he can beat the crap out of whenever he wants...as long as he continues to use and abuse me as well....

We have made a decision that we can both do as we please when we please but our committments, loyalties and love lay with each other and we like our arrangement and have no desire to change it. Now you may think that it is nuts and we are crazy married people don't live like this, it isn't a healthy relationship, but if you had seen us 8 months ago that was unhealthly. Mind you we still fight with a passion on a regular basis, but hey who the hell doesn't. No one is perfect, regardless of who they are.

So I think I think we have made a decision that we can both live happily with.

So I have decided to throw a very special party in August for all my new play friends and have the time of my life doing it. Now I have to admit...even if I do say so myself I throw a great vanilla party, so this one is going to rock. Alchol, leather, food, loud music, and lots of uninhibited animalistic sex. I can almost feel the shudder from certain people reading this right now and hear the comments. "My God how can she do that" "How can she say things like that"...lol
My suggestion if you don't like it don' t read any further than this entry, trust me this blog will not be getting a PG rating anytime soon....I am who I am and screw anyone who doesn't like it or can't respect it.

My only concern is for my son who I can assure everyone that he has no clue what goes on it my apartment behind closed doors, I am Mommy and no one else to him, I wear sweats and have my hair pulled back in a bun when he is around and there is never an kind of impliments laying around or any suggestive talk at all.

I suppose I should do something productive at some point today...lol...yeah right...