Miguel And My Middle Name - ABBA Or Andy Griffith?

My friend Miguel is a wonderful fellow. Men want to be him. Women want to be with him. For the past several years, he has resided in the cubicle next to me in the office where we ply our trade, hoisting that barge and lifting that bale.

In the interest of full disclosure, Miguel's name is actually Mike, but in the spirit of livin' la vida loca and because he has far too much personality to be merely a Mike, we rechristened him Miguel. As we did not break a bottle of bubbly across his bow, I am uncertain as to how legally binding this new moniker might be, but he answers to it.

Yesterday, Miguel's head suddenly appeared from over the wall that separates us to engage in one of our periodic discussions regarding persons of interest like Denver Pyle, Bea Arthur, Darren McGavin, or Gordon Lightfoot. Sometimes it's hard to keep track of so much trivial information and keep my clockwork-like schedule of smoke breaks.

As Miguel leaned over the wall, he noticed a form with my name across the top, including my middle initial - F. "Do I know your middle name?"

"I don't think so."

"What is it?" he asked.

Now, I should mention that Miguel is a bit of an ABBA fan and I replied, pausing for effect and drama, "Fernando."

"Nooooo," he gasped. "My life isn't that good."

I smiled. "No, it's not Fernando."

"Franklin?"

"No."

"Freddy? Like in 'Scooby Doo'?"

"Have you ever seen me wear an ascot?"

"Is it Frisco? That would be a good one!"

"It would be brilliant," I replied, "if I was a sidekick in some straight-to-video B-movie."

"So, it's not Frisco?"

"It's never been before."

"What about Fritz?"

"Do you think that I was conceived in a German beer hall?"

"It's possible."

"Wait!" Miguel exclaimed, his eyes bulging like Rodney Dangerfield. "Floyd! Is it Floyd! Please tell me it's Floyd! Were your parents fans of 'The Andy Griffith Show'!"

I shook my head, deflating his enthusiasm much to my chagrin.

It's been days now and the game continues - Felipe being a recent guess - without resolution. I could just tell him, but it's a pleasant way to pass the time and be derelict in our drone-like duties.

I hope he never gets it.

Quick Reference To Barely Awake In Frog Pajamas' Blog