Easy.

"Honey, could you bring me some toilet paper?"

"Oh gee. I think we might be out......"

When he discovers there is toilet paper, you simply say, "Oops. Guess I was wrong."

... about my years of being the toilet paper exchange (not to mention care of the throne itself).

But that would just label me even more of a dweeb than you already reckon I be.

So I'll just keep quiet about it.

Ooops ... :)

My hubby is a rare gem. He worked in the grocery trade for many years and seems to have a special affinity with supermarkets and their products. He does ALL the shopping, and yes, he changes the toilet rolls. Now, if only I can teach him not to leave the empty inner bit on the bathroom basin. (I'm not really complaining - I can manage to put it in the bin without whining about it.)

At least I do :-/

But that's just cuz I get lazy... not becuz I don't know how ;-)

American Idol Madness
MySpace or Yours

I thought that was for girls. Isn't that why you are always in the bathroom for such a long time? Doing toilet paper and whatever the hell else you do in there?

Crapping, pissing, reaming out my nose, and spitting. That's what ithe water closet is for.

Toilet paper, you say?

deorre

'Life Stew, With Psychosis

I'll this for men, the reason we forget to replace the toilet paper is because if we use it all the odds are that we aren't gonna need it the next time we use the bathroom. Women need toilet paper every time they use the bathroom so they are more likely to replace a roll they finish.

Who made it a rule that men have to put the toilet seat down? Who is responsible for this? I have taken a stand in my life where I refuse to put down the toilet seat. I just will not do it.

I guess my story is different. My husband will go to the closet and get another roll (good), but then he'll set it on the bathroom floor (bad). When confronted he makes excuses like, "I don't know how to put it on the 'thing'." or "I didn't have time, DOG the Bounty Hunter was on." or "I thought you'd WANT to do it." so now when he needs things, like dinner cooked, I say, "Sorry, American Idol's on" or "I thought YOU'D WANT to do it!"

OK D Weezy, I'll tell you why you must put the lid down. Because people like me who have a million things going on at once occassionally forget to look before we sit. Have you ever been stuck in a toilet? It's not cool. Especially if you really get wedged in there! My man thinks it's funny, but it's not.

Reason #2. How do you men make such a mess? The thrown in my home will be spottless, then you look under the lid and there's a science project hanging out. How? How do you manage this? Is it that hard to aim? Can't you just clean up your 'over spray'?

'Over spray' is a totally different issue that I don't even want to delve into.

I also have a million things going on such as "Dog The Bounty Hunter" and VH1 countowns (shameless plug for my last post, please forgive me). I just think that it is easier for the woman to put the seat down than it is for the man to lift it back up (gravitational pull).

Really I'm so stubborn about this issue because I hate when women try to tell me I should put the seat down because it's the nice thing to do or because it's more sanitary for them. I will say that your reason, while it is funny (eventhough you may not think so), is the most compelling one I've heard to get me to put the seat down.

Being stuck in the pot is soooo not funny. The last time (yes, it's happened more than once) was the worst.
I was super busy - cooking dinner, watching baby, opening mail.
I run to the facility not realizing that I am holding a box of spaghetti noodles.
Suddenly I fall into the toilet. I mean, I'm really jammed in there. I say a quick prayer, "Lord, if you allow me to get out of this toilet without having to yell for Kurt, I promise I'll never say a swear word again."
God knew I was a liar.
So there I am yelling for hubby to come help me.
He walks up to the outside of the bathroom door and says, "What's wrong? Is there a spider in there or something?"
Completely embarrassed I reply, "no it's worse."
"What?" he says
"I'm stuck in the damn toilet again!" I yell.
All I hear is laughter. He's laughing so hard he can't stand up.
When he finally comes to help me, there I am holding a stupid box of noodles.
I'm an idiot.
Does this only happen to me?

Imagine for a second it was Kurt sitting there stuck in the throne with a box of noodles in his hand and he was screaming your name. You would probably go:
you: "what's wrong? do you need toilet paper again?"
Kurt: "no it's worse."
you: "what?"
Kurt: "i'm stuck in the damn toilet again."

You would be bent over laughing too. I mean I laughed as I typed that. You just gotta remove yourself from the situation.

I have another question: when you get stuck in the toilet do you first use the bathroom and then try and figure a way out? Or do you worry about getting out immediately?

How could I possibly "go" under that kind of pressure? Of course my first concern is getting out. Nobody likes to be stuffed in a tight place like that.
The first thought that goes through my head is - "Survival skills. I must get out quickly." the second thought is, "How the hell did this happen AGAIN? I wish he'd put that seat down."

Am I truly the only person this has happened to? Tottie, Intricate Girl, Model Mom - none of you have been in this postition? Does this happen to guys? I can't be the only person in history that this happens to. I may be the only person who has gotten stuck more than once...

This sitting in the toilet thing almost happened to me yesterday and I am a guy. But when I was going down a sixth sense told me at the last moment that the seat was not down. Maybe I felt the cold air coming off the toilet water or I realized I don't normally sit down quite this far, but any even I caught myself at the last minute. Maybe noticing the seat is not down is encodeded on that same toilet paper gene.

I see a world where women are trained to lift the toilet seat because the risk of falling in is better than sitting down on all the urine that has made the seat soooo sticky.

deorre

'Life Stew, With Psychosis

It sounds like you've fallen in a few times yourself Deorre!

I guess nobody will admit to it.
Anyway, The comments on this page are sooooo funny! It made my day!

where they have toilets that automatically lower the seat upon flushing, play music so nobody can hear the expulsion of your waste matter, have seat warmers and sinks attached that turn on as you flush so you can wash your hands before you even put your pants back on. Methinks Japanese women must have invented thrones like these.....smart, very, very smart.

When you finish, put down the seat.

AND THE LID.

That's supposed to be the sanitary thing to do anyway.

She's not going to fall in with the lid down. But she is going to have to do something. Everybody's going to have to exercise their arms to go. Fair is fair.

HOW do you fall into the toilet??? lol!!! that is hilarious... nope, never happened to me either :)