Today I am feeling very melancholy, my mood is low. Me and my husband are having a lot of problems. It is not that he is wrong and I am right. It is more like, he would like his life to go a certain way. And I want mine to go a certain way. We have been together for almost 10 years. That is a long time when you are 30 years old. To share your adult life with someone and them realize you may not make it to the next year.

I love my husband, I really do. I have even grown to like him a little. But I don't want to spend the rest of my life loving someone who does not believe in me or respect my choices. Believing me and respecting my choices was not something that I was concerned about at 20. I wanted security, someone who was handsome, someone that would help provide a nice life for me and any children that I would have. Now I am 30 feeling lost. I feel like I have lost myself somehow. I have all the things that I was looking for at 20 but nothing that I want at 30.

However, If I strive for the things that I want now I have to give up my husband and my friend. If I don't than I will just wither away I think. This is about my very survival. I don't know what I will do. I just know that I cant keep doing this. Depressed Diva

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