"It's not everyday that you get to see a monster piñata killing teens on a paradise island"

Oh how true that statement is and due to a fortuitous bout of insomnia that had me channel surfing in the early-morning hours, I can now rebuff anyone that uses that line as a selling point. Of course, the fellow that writes reviews for slasherpool.com might be the only human in the history of humans to state the titular quote.

If you're a piñata aficionado or simply have an interest in really bad movies, well Piñata: Survival Island might just be for you. I cannot recommend it as a "so bad it's good" feature as I only caught the last ten minutes and that brief glimpse led me to believe that it's so bad,it's just bad. It's the kind of movie where you mumble to yourself, "Someone actually believed this needed to be written down?"

It was entrapment that I watched what I did. As I said, I was channel-surfing when I was confronted with...well...I really don't know how to describe it. Remember the little tiki idol that caused so much mayhem when the Brady Bunch went to Hawaii? Well, imagine that tiki idol roughly eight-feet tall, breathing fire, and rampaging through a jungle wielding a battle axe. You obviously see why my hand froze on the
remote as I watched, boggle-eyed.

So, as I watch these monkeyshines (which really consisted of nothing more than the "piñata" creature chasing several slack-jawed college kids about), I pull up imdb.com for the scoop. Apparently, the angry tiki thing burst forth from a piñata. Man, I already have a feeling that someone out there, either suffering from insomnia or bad taste in viewing choices, caught this flick and will be touting it as a solution to the illegal imigration debate.

Piñata: Survival Island is not without star power, though. One of the survivors of the piñata run amok is Jaime Pressly from My Name Is Earl. In fact, she dispatches with the evil spirit by quickly assembling a molotov cocktail and handcuffing it to the creature's ceremonial headdress (or maybe it was just its mishapen cranium). It also stars Aeryk Egan who obviously put more thought into making his first name a laughable bastardization of Eric than in choosing his roles.

The fact that the film was showing on AMC, which alledgedly stands for American Movie Classics, is another kettle of fish altogether. However, I suppose that I should feel enriched and enlightened for the experience. It's not often that I will have the opportunity to write about piñatas and, for that, I am grateful.

And, if any of you are now filled with a sense of urgency to get to your local movie rental outlet, be sure to check under Demon Island if they don't have Piñata: Survival Island. Apparently a cinematic endeavor of such magnitude could not be constrained to merely having one title.

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