It Was Trying to Kill Me....I Swear!!!

It is no secret that I am phobic of bugs...all bugs...except for butterflies, ants and ladybugs. I can handle worms and caterpillars too but that is about it.....so, when I walked up to my front door today after picking up my son from preschool and saw an enormous praying mantis on my door frame I all but ran screaming towards the hills.

Yes, I am a complete woos, and not afraid to admit it. But I had to maintain some sort of composure so that my three year old wouldn't acquire some sort of panic disorder and also because I was carrying my 7 month old in her infant seat. So, I backed away, barked at my son to stay put, placed the baby on the driveway and started attacking that nasty ass thing. Let me tell you, the bug literally pivoted its head and stared me dead in the eyes then lifted one of those hideously long arms as if pointing at me in a very Eastwood "Go ahead, make my day" way and I was on the verge of swooning.....

I grabbed my kid's sippy cup & hurled it narrowly missing yet it remained perched (pretty gracefully, I must admit) next flew my wallet, my soda cup from Jack in the Box, then my husband finally opens the door as I am aiming the hose at this thing and I scream to "Shut the door , shut it shut it shut it!" to his bewilderment. Finally I let loose a jet of water and the thing flutters away. I ducked, screaming, totally aware that I have made an ass of myself in front of my kids, neighbors and husband. Dust myself off, grab the baby and my purse and walk inside as my son recounts to my husband how "mama was so cared and the praying mantit looked like dis (makes face by pulling down his cheeks with his little hands)". Yeah....I am not a nature girl by any stretch of the imagination.