Well, I’m here at week two ~ day 14 ~ without a single, solitary cigarette! I’m also using my last nicotine patch and don’t plan to buy anymore. My cravings are almost down to nil, so I’ll just stick with the gum until they pass completely. As it is, I’ve only been using the gum about twice a day, anyway. With the exception of the odd moment when my mind summons involuntary thoughts of smoking (like, the other night when I had trouble sleeping and I suddenly thought “Whatever, I’ll just have a smoke before trying again”) I’m really kinda over it. My only issue is the amount of EATING I’ve been doing over the last week, but that’s also passing. I’ve had a couple of days where I literally made myself sick from eating and that kind of discomfort helps to knock that crap off!

But, really ~ beyond the little tricks I set myself up with before hand, I’ve gotta say that it’s helped to have the support of the group I joined on about.com. It’s actually bizarre to me how having this group of over-zealous people tell me they’re proud of me has urged me on and made me feel pretty fucking proud of myself! Ya, me the cynic who’d typically roll her eyes over something like that ~ “Excuse me, how can you be “proud” of me when I only just joined this group and haven’t done anything yet???? Please - go sell crazy someplace else!” - instead, I’ve just gone with it and allowed myself to unashamedly gush and be proud of me. Hey, it may not be rocket science or curing cancer, but this is hard to do! And, having this place where I’ve gotten such unbelievable support from so many people and been able to urge on others has been such an incredible help to me that I can’t imagine how anyone could successfully quit smoking without a group. Uh-hu, go ahead and get me my Nike’s! I’m a total convert!

Beyond the support, it’s also helped for me to read the stories of others and learn their tricks and even just to read their rants and troubles. For anyone going through this alone, it may be tempting to think that you’re weak or ridiculous for some of the SERIOUS emotions that come up when quitting. I’m pretty convinced that it factors into why so many people quit quitting. So, going to that site everyday and seeing that I’m going through what everyone goes through has been enormously helpful! Even now when that Icelandic bitch, Bjork, tries to temp me and questions if quitting is really worth it, I only have to think of stories I’ve read to shut her up. Of course, the fact that I can now take a deep breath and hear NO phlemy rattling also helps!

I was going to save the back-slapping post for the 30 day mark, but am feeling so good today and so excited about tomorrow beginning without the patch that I chucked the idea. And, it’s funny ~ I actually get it now why people try to convince their friends and family to quit smoking after they do. It’s so not about being an elitist. It’s that once you get past the hard part ~ the days of cravings, the days of moodiness, the days of wanting to kill at random ~ you wake up and realize just how do-able it really is to quit! You look around and want to tell everyone ~ “I just quit smoking and if my sorry ass can do it, ANYONE CAN!”. And, whenever you reach your personal point of feeling fucking awesome, you really want every smoker to know that they could feel that awesome, too!

“Woo-hoo! I can breathe! I can breathe! I can BREATHE!!!!!!”

I won’t actually try to convince anyone, but damn ~ if anyone does decide to quit, think seriously about joining that group!

So, in closing, I’m done and done for good thanks to the circle jerk I joined. I’m sure I’ll still have at least a few more days of random cravings and the occasional moments of bitchiness, but it feels so good that I don’t *need* the fags anymore that I can’t imagine having one and ruining everything I’ve worked for. And, I’d be remiss in not thanking Huttriver, Pussy Willow and Catfish who’ve also cheered me on and been a great support! I’ve always been the type to go it alone, but I’m so glad that this time I had enough sense to seek out help. Otherwise, I might have found myself being a REAL quitter and smoking again.

Woo-hoo! Yeah ME!!!!!