I am no longer myself these days. I blew it with a perfect girl, who can apparently see into the future. She is adament that I won't change despite all for my best efforts to tell her otherwise. Now, she's dating some old fool whose 13 years older than she. She says he is wonderful and great. Give me a break. She's on the rebound and this clown saw his opprotunity to swoop in and pull out all the tricks. I was astounding at how quickly he was able to brainwash her. Surely, her and this 33 year old isn't the real deal. Then again maybe I was that bad, but I doubt it. Problem was that she said I didn't do the little things. But, in reality all I wanted from her was to believe in me and she couldn't do that. Maybe that's why I didn't bother doing the little things. That's all I wanted was a little faith instead of criticism. In all actuality if you look at our relationship we had far more good times than bad. The bad can be summed up into two or three minor things, but the good things are too numerous to count. Sure they weren't major things, but "little" things, like a comment that made us both laugh or something like that. I miss her like crazy and it's getting harder to hold on. I wish she could see that I'm not me without her and that even though I thought she was too co-dependant, maybe it was I who was all along. I'm at wits end and just hope that I can occupy my mind with something other than thoughts of her. Yet, I listen to Blue Octobers "Hate me" all day long. That song sums it up, but I want it to be like the Wade Bowen song again that she used to love and say was about us. I'm pathetic, I know. Truly though, this IS my last post.