If only my life were fiction!

Oh, o_ceallaigh!

If only my life were fiction, I would not have suffered so much. Then again I would not be as strong as I am either. Sometimes, these are experiences that we must go through so that we can grow and learn something new about ourselves.

I am going to post something to demonstrate why my family, friends and coworkers tell me my life is a sitcom or a soap depending on the day... This post is from my other blog and it is titled Ironic?

Life has a way of coming around full circle. Here's my story:

After my separation from "Prince Charming" I found employment at a certain not-for-profit organization. It was a type of preschool. I was in charge of the new children that would be attending the program. As part of my responsibiities, I was to meet with each family individually and process all their paperwork. A home visit was required as well as a thorough assessment of every family and any services that may be necessary.

A few years before "Prince Charming's" enchantment had been lifted and I was left looking at his true form. After this revelation and his quick exit, I gave birth to our last child. Two months after her birth, I found out that he had impregnated someone else. At a court date (that he skipped), I was informed that he was also expecting from yet another woman. Towards the end of April, he had two daughters born a day apart, (obviously from two different women) and my daughter was five months old. Three daughters born in less than six months, huh? And you thought I was being harsh when I called him an enchanted frog?

So, now five years later I am handed a list of the children that I would be evaluating. As I went down the list...to my surprise: not one , but both little girls were on my caseload. One of these women had caused my children much grief and heart ache. This woman tried to destroy my peace, my chldren and leave me homeless. Now, I was supposed to help her. I did what ethically and morally I should have. I explained to my direct superior that it would be a conflict of interest for me to have these two families in my caseload. I exchanged the families for two others. As soon as the vindictive one found out that I was working there, she pulled her daughter out of the program before the school year began. The other woman had not answered any correspondence so her child was put on a waiting list.

Four months later, the program needed to expand and I was instructed to go to this woman's house and present myself at the door (without ID) and try to convince her to send her child to bring up the numbers of the enrollment. I explained the situation and I was told to not come back without doing what I was told. Off I went, uncertain to her reaction and my future. I had to do my job, I needed the income. I also needed to be alive and in one piece, to care for the dwarves. I took the long ride to the development. I rang the doorbell and she was called to the door. This was the moment that I had imagined in my mind for years. I had never seen her, just heard about her. This was the woman that chose to become impregnated by a marrried man that had four children. This is where he had undoubtedly concocted lies to subdue me as to his whereabouts. I looked into her eyes and saw weariness. I saw poverty, despair and sadness. I spoke to her about the program and she explained her lack of transportation and her scarcity of resources. It didn't go the way I had seen it in my mind so many times. I walked away feeling sadness, empathy and compassion. See, she had seen the lucrative business that he had and undoubtedly thought that she would be taken care of. Instead, it was apparent that she had unfulfilled dreams. She spoke as she pointed to the photograph of the little girl. The little girl that resembled my children. The same blood ran through them. I thanked her for her time and left. I know she never realized who I was. She couldn't have. She was sincere and gracious. There was never a hint of recognition.

As I walked away, I thought about all the nights that sleep evaded me. Those nights, I sat up crying,pregnant and angry at my situation. The times that I imagined all was with them. How I thought I had become the punchline in that joke. That day I learned that sometimes bad things happen to people and that it's all about perspective. My world was very painful at that time, but I learned to survive, to be strong and to persevere. There are lessons that need to be learned during those hard times. Little time should be spent turning events over and over in your mind. Playing them out over and over again is futile. There might be a day that you will understand that life comes around full circle, or they may not be. But always remember that you will make it and that the sun will rise in the morning. The one that tried to cause me and my family pain, was the one that I was called upon to help. How's that for full circle and for irony?...