Ok, I’ll admit that I don’t own any smut films or even any toys ~ but that’s due entirely to my current situation and not to any prudish sensibility. Let’s face it, when I go out shopping these days, I have a 4 year old with me. So, perusing the Adults Only section is just not an option. It’s not like the sign says, “18 & over only unless accompanied by an adult”! And, given how my days are filled with choosing new doctors, finding new daycare, seeking employment and then trying to wedge some writing in at the end of the day ~ porn just doesn’t come to mind too often for this spinster. But, today it’s kind of all I’m thinking about thanks to an article written by Mick Farren in LA’s City Beat.

Yes, folks, it would seem that the porn wars are on yet again and Mr. Farren asks an interesting question in his article ~ “Is their (the Department of Justice) real goal to control the porn industry by becoming the ultimate Orwellian authority that actually regulates law?”. Hmmmm, I think he’s onto something there. Not that most people haven’t been wondering that for years.

I so won’t lie to you ~ I become almost frozen in a weird state of fear and revulsion over the mere idea of any of my children having sex. What used to be the ultimate cock-block was the image of our parents doing the same deviant things in the bedroom that we happily indulge in. Now, it’s even the notion of our kids doing those things! Or, for the moms ~ that our baby girls are being defiled in the same ways that we joyously and wickedly allow! Add to that horror the very real fact that this up & coming generation has full knowledge of all sex toys and could probably teach us a thing or two and you could find yourself with full-body dry heaves.

But, even with all that, I’d still feel compelled to fight tooth and nail to save my smut! As long as my sons lie to me and tell me they’d never even know what to do with that string of wooden beads, I’d happily march beside them in any “Save our sex” demonstration!

Yep, I heart porn.

At the end of the day, it’s not like my life would end or anything if I was no longer allowed to own ‘Horny Housewives 16’ or ‘Guys on Guys 36’. But, really, we are talking about the 1st Amendment here and how those who wish to eradicate the porn industry seem to ignore it whenever it pleases them. Hey, I absolutely hate the ‘Girls Gone Wild’ industry, but I must stress that I think the guy who started it all is a fucking genius and is being railroaded and should be freed from prison! My hatred of it comes from only (and only) the fact that there are wayyyy too many stupid girls out there who think making someone else a billionaire by showing their everything for free is cool! I’ve never seen any of the videos, but have seen enough of the commercials to know that they’ll happily perform sex acts for the camera in order to get...what??? A free tshirt??? To party with the crew???? Excuse me, but I’d have more respect for them if they were blowing a roadie in order to party with and potentially sleep with Aerosmith!

But, I guess my real question is “what are they so afraid of?”. My guess is that it has much less to do with children seeing forbidden acts of the flesh than it does their own very real fears of their own sexuality. These people who are so vehemently against sex on video seem as though they’re trying desperately to erase the thoughts of sex from their own minds. It’s happened way too often where a politician or holy roller will inevitably be caught with his pants down to ignore this train of thought. Wether it be a “caught with a pro” deal or an anti-gay found with another man clamped down on his boy parts, it happens so often that you’d think these folks would take a deeper look inward and dissect their real motives.

Ah, but alas, this will never happen will it? I always think about the women involved. These women who march and preach and show up on CNN. Clearly, I am exactly the type of woman who they despise. I may be sitting here so un-sexed that at this point I’m pretty sure I have my virginity back, but I have also explored my sexuality quite freely and dare I say it ~ am kind of proud of it. I like the fact that I’ve ventured to experience as much as life has to offer and that I’m still willing to explore more of it. I have no desire what-so-ever to be in a sex flick, myself, but dammit ~ who am I to judge someone else who does??? I’ve done the scenes, just sans camera!

Er, well, there was that one time..........

But, back to those women. Those women staring down their noses at me while I’m looking back thinking ~ “I feel so badly for you. I feel so badly that you’ll not allow yourself the complete sexual freedom that is yours to be had. That you’ll never allow yourself the empowerment and yes ~ confidence building experiences that will have you understanding just how awesome it is to be a woman in the 21st century! You see me as some sort of deviant or even as a victim. Well, sorry, but it’s you that I pity.”

And, I really do pity them. But, pity aside, I think we all need to keep a sharp eye out because this new war on porn will be fought quietly and even more underhandedly this time. Sure, no one will die without material for the spank bank, but no one will die because they own it, either.