I Found A Mountain Lion In My Garage

I Found A Mountain Lion In My Garage
And I'm Keeping Him
When I first found him in the garage I could hardly believe that a mountain lion had come all the way down into the valley and was here in my garage. He wasn't defensive at all,in fact,he looked as if he wanted me to pet him. So thats just what I did. It was like finding a stray cat on the porch who's hoping you will feed him and allow him to stay. Thats what got to me,his ability to express to me that he wanted to stay. So I told him he could,but he would have to stay in the garage. I let him know that if any of the neighbors were to see him they would become frightened and most likely call the authorities,demanding that he be taken back to the mountains. He seemed to understand,so far I've had no trouble at all out of him.
He sleeps alot,more than you would think,mostly all day. When he awakes in the evening I bring him his meat. He seems to like being fed and is surprisingly content. He never tries to sneak off or make a quick getaway. He is definitely the best pet I've ever had. Caring for him only takes 20-30 minutes out of my day. At first the meat I fed him was a little costly. So to save some money I started hunting. Legally of course,and season permitting. A good sized boar lasts him at least two weeks.
The only other thing I have to do for him on a daily basis is put him into the trunk of my old 83' Oldsmobile thats been parked in my garage for the last few years. This is where he sleeps,theres plenty of room,the trunk is huge. I leave the trunk open of course,so he always has fresh air. The way I make him stay in there will undoubtebly have animal rights groups outraged. But this is my mountain lion and my house. You've heard the old saying before,I'm sure,"as long as you are living under my roof you'll live under my rules." Hey,if he wanted to,he could quit eating the meat I bring him and leave any night if he ever wants to. I'm sure he remembers where the door is,it's the same one he came in through. Back to how I keep him in an opened trunk. Well it's quite simple,I tranquillize him,putting him in a deep sleep. Then I slide him into an extra large gunny sack I made by sewing a bunch of them together,making one large sack,use some rope to tie up the opening securely,then finally hoisting him into the trunk. Like I said,he mostly sleeps all day. I never worry that he might escape when I'm at work,my neighbors really have no need to worry about a possible attack. Although I'm sure they would if they knew that I had a pet mountain lion.
This might seem like cruel treatment for an animal,let alone a favorite pet. I can assure though that he's never become agressive with me. I'm also quite sure that he enjoys my company,some nights when he's eating I sit out there with him,drink a few beers,talk to him,just like you would any other pet. He'll even come over to me and lay his head on my lap as I scratch behind his ears. Sometimes if I am in a very good mood I dump out his water pan and pour him a twelve pack a beer. He loves it when I treat him. Imagine if you only had water to drink everyday,day after day,I'm sure it would get old.
Speaking of getting old,I'm not sure how old he is. He's full grown but looks fairly young,but I just can't be sure. He very well might have alot of life left in him and I'm prepared to care for him as long as he lives and as long as he wants to stay. Although I must confess, I have found myself thinking from time to time,that I could most likely get a fair....

Ohh....man....my head is pounding,sometimes that Cuervo really kicks my ass. I can smell that my wife is cooking me some breakfast,hopefully something that will soak up some of this liquor. I really should not drink as much anymore. Lately I don't even finish my dreams before I wake up. Tonight I'll sleep sober,maybe finish up last nights dream. If I do, I'll have to start up a new dream,and dream it all the way through. Just a crazy dreram,digitaleyez