I Don't Understand Fashion (And I'm Confused By Colors)
It's cold here today, so I dressed for the elements, throwing on comfortable, worn jeans, a heavy dark blue sweater, well broken-in combat boots, and my Belgian army coat. I didn't wear a tie, mainly because I don't own one and the concept puzzles me.
My girlfriend, who works as a manager in a fairly posh department store, was pointing out ties on a television program the other day. She wanted me to guess their costs and my answer was always like Rain Man, "About a hundred dollars." To my surprise, I wasn't far off. One hundred dollars for this "item?" I could be a land baron in Costa Rica for one hundred dollars.
I asked her what purpose ties served and she gave me some answer about their offering men a way to accessorize. So, I'm going to choke myself with this cloth noose so that I might have something to bring out the color of my shirt? And, by doing so, I will suddenly possess credibilty. Seems kind of arbitrary and capricious. Who was the Mensa candidate that thought this was a good or even neccessary idea?
And what if they had decided that straw hats or codpieces should fill this niche? Would women be asking men, "Where's your straw hat? This is a formal affair." Would they shake their heads in dismay as they said, "Couldn't you have worn your good codpiece? The one you wore to Gert's funeral."
And colors - I'm not colorblind (I took the test), but my girlfriend recently informed me that the sweater which I mention earlier (and have owned for years) is, in fact, not dark blue, but grey. If I squint, I see her point.
Of course, it's probably not grey but slate or something. I suggested to her that colors should have names that are more informative to the average person (or at least entertaining). What's a taupe? Is it some kind of fish that is found only near some reef in Micronesia? (and are Micronesians really small?)
However, she didn't seem to think that the color names I suggested were marketable. I don't know. I think pond scum, Cocoa Puff, hypothermia, and open wound have a certain descriptive quality that taupe lacks.
It's too much to think about. Besides, I'd rather consider what it would actually be like to be in the Belgian army. Why do they even have an army? I've never been to Belgium, but I imagine the Belgians to be polite, civilized folks who never squabble. Maybe it is to protect the waffles. I do love waffles - almost as much...maybe even more than Pop-Tarts. Perhaps I should enlist. I have one of the coats (it's green) and I probably wouldn't have to wear a tie.
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Ha Ha
Don't sweat it...I think whenever I see men in suits that they were either dressed by a wife or salesclerk..you aren't to get it..
That's the norm
Most straight guys aren't very into fashion.
Dreams Matter.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/6562/pchan_stockton.html
I don't know what being
I don't know what being "into fashion" entails, but if I go out I like to look good (not to the store, but to a club, etc. as you can see from my pic. i am the indestinguishable one in the white tee in back). presentable at the very least. i know how you feel about ties, but it came a time in life where i had to wear one to get where i needed to go. at first i felt really uncomfortable, but i got used to it and now i kind of like to get dressed up. like when i go to a job interview for instance. after, i go have a drink and feel important for a minute.
I Have The Same Probums With Socks Too
....I M always havin to axe Kizzy if one sock iz more of a cobalk-blue or iz it lean'n more to the aint been wash'd yet grey sock, that had been throw'd under the divan or into the closet and fergottin bout; I M purty much a jeanz and basic wife-beater in dingy white or bleach'd yellar; althoz I got sume of the wife-beaters that got sume stainin on them that I could only hazherd a guesz as to watt food item or bodily fluifz they resulted frum!
I got sume ties but I dont ware em; me and Kizzy use in sume role-playin games that I proboly shuldn't really go into a whole lot of aberration on, but only acuz Kizzy has been readin up on this bloggin page of mine, othurwize, I got sume stories I cud be tellin for shure.
Adios Bob
Let me give you the secret
Let me give you the secret to fashion. Clothing is what keeps you warm and not naked. Fashion is the art of clothing. Some people would be the fashion equivalent of DaVinci, and others are more like the fashion Dali. You sound like you have well established your own style; therefore, you are fashionable even if Valentino isn't calling you to ask for your opinion.
I hate to say it, but ties are necessary sometimes. Suck it up. At least you don't have to teeter around on 4" pointy toe heels because some stupid magazine decided they were cool this year. You'll never know the ungodly horror of an underwire bra. You will never have to feel a sudden blast of cool air on your nether-regions while you scramble to put your skirt back in place after a gust of wind. And if you do know any of these things, feel free to NOT share. :D
Colors are easy. Become a poet. And I mean the old, stodgy poetry. Pretend you are Shakepeare. Ask yourself, "How would Shakespeare describe this particular dark blue color. B-Movie Alien Life Form Blue or Midnight Blue?" As soon as you say "That's Midnight Blue" your girlfriend will be impressed. Be descriptive and avoid words such as Chartreuse and Taupe at all costs, because those are absolutely meaningless.
And finally, that Belgian army coat sounds cool.