HOW TO LOSE A DATE IN 10 SECONDS,a comical look at the dating world

Have you ever been on a date that takes a turn for the worse? Maybe he just said something that you found to be totally repulsive. Maybe she is simply not your type. I have found that it is really difficult to just “end" a date, especially if you are with one of those people who actually think the date is ‘FUN’…
I have compiled a list of sure-fire ways to end any date in ten seconds. These ideas can be used by both men and women. Let’s get started…

The following items can be applied to any bad date, regardless of place:

1. Ask your date if she want’s to play a game of “I Spy", then make the answer to every question be her boobs. I suppose this would be even more offensive if a woman did this to a man!

2. With a puzzled expression, inquire, “Do you wear contacts or are your eyes always that ugly?"

3. Ask, “So how many of your friends can I have sex with before you get mad? Two or Three?"

4. Ask what kind of car they drive. No matter what their response is say, “Well that was a waste of $3,000." Unless their car was obviously less than that, then substitute $3,000 for $50.

5. Say, “So what is your mothers name?" When they respond start laughing hysterically.

6. If her name is ‘Lisa’, call her ‘Jenny’ all night.

7. Say, “Damn, girl…I’m gonna need my beer goggles for you!"
8. Whisper words while your date talks. I like to use “Nut cracker" and “Blue birds".

9. Ask what her goal in life is. Once she has finished talking say, “You’re joking, right?"

If you find yourself out to dinner and you want to end the date, you may want to try one of these things:

1. Wait till your date goes to the restroom. Use their green beans to spell out “YOU SUCK" or “TAKE ME HOME" on the table.

2. Point off in a direction and yell “Look!". When your date turns around, snake a large piece of food off her plate. Insist it was yours.

3. Call over the waiter and tell him that your date hates her meal. Unless she really does hate her meal, then tell the waiter the food is amazing.

4. Randomly salt her food.

5. Inquire, “So how many drinks is it gonna take before you strip? I’m on a pretty tight budget here."
6. Make continual comparisons to sex. For example, you can ask “How is your meal?" when she responds, “Good." Say, “So is sex." Next ask about her drink….

7. Bend her fork into a circle then swear it wasn’t you.

Lastly, if you find yourself in a really bad date inside a movie theater, you can end it in ten seconds by doing the following;

1. As soon as the lights dim, say, “So how much for ‘a little extra’?"

2. Ask if she brought Pepto. Then add, “This is going to be a long two hours…"

3. Take out your cell phone and start sending text messages or playing tetris.

4. Say, “I’m happy these lights are dim. I don’t think I could handle looking at you any longer."

I hope you have found these ideas usefull. More to come soon...