How To Help An Older Person With Depression

If you want to help an older person deal with depression. You need to be patient and respectful and approach the person with love in your heart. BUT remember not all older people are nice, kind or respectful of those around them. People are people no matter what their age and it is OK to say no if the relationship is taking too much out of you. It is OK to have your own limitations and boundaries in the relationship.

If you really want to help anyone with depression find out what help is needed. Either ask or even approach a friend or neighbour to find out if there is anything you can do. Help may be practical or emotionally supportive. Everyone’s needs will be different.

Sometimes it is simply having company somewhere in the house, not even speaking. Sometimes it is a chat at a set time each week. Sometimes it is encouragement. Sometimes it is taking the person out from their home. The help you can give can be small, like collecting the mail or buying the milk or giving a hug or making a phone call or much larger contribution. It is up to you to decide. BUT remember once help is offered it is harder to take it away again. Building up slowly to where you feel is your limit can work very well.

What if this doesn’t do any good? What if the person does not “snap out of it� or “climb out of it� or “fall out� of their depression? What then? The older person may know themselves when the depression is becoming too much and feel the frustration of “not being like they used to be� or “feeling sad without knowing why� or “not being able to laugh or smile� or “losing the desire to engage or speak with others� or “always finding the grey side of life�. OR it may be that a relative notices these things.

If there has been a sudden change of personality then an organic problem may have occurred such as a stroke and this should be investigated. Make sure this is discussed with a health professional alongside the “mental� aspects of the older person’s health. Be careful that the doctor does not treat the older person as simply old and dismisses them, but treats all aspects of their health seriously. It is often helpful for an older person, who may have depression, to have an advocate present at appointments (a relative or a trusted friend is good or there are community services such as the red cross that may be able to help).

Remember that it can be helpful to try other techniques before medications are introduced. In some cases medication is needed urgently, but consider alternatives and discuss their appropriateness with the health professional. Alternatives can include self-help groups, meditation, appointments with psychologists, discussions with caring others, support groups, appropriate exercise, friendship groups, thorough medical examinations and investigations, modifications to the home to help mobility and meeting with other people going through the same difficulties. These are just a few of the possibilities. A professional psychologist will have many more to offer.

If medication seems necessary, and alternatives have been tried or do not seem suitable, then it is important that there is no fear or guilt associated with taking the medicines required. It is OK to need medicines. It is interesting that many people feel that they need to struggle and that medicines for mental conditions somehow show you as being weak or unable to cope. Would anyone deny an amputee a prosthesis, a patient with pneumonia antibiotics, a diabetic insulin or someone with dermatitis cortisone cream. I think not. A mental problem such as clinical depression is a complicated disease – BUT it is a disease none the less, and should be treated as such by both the patient and the physician. The brain is a mysterious organ, but like any part of your body can suffer from interruptions or excesses of certain chemicals that can cause an imbalance. The results of which can be both physical and mental. Medicines for depression aim to correct the imbalance. They are not “happy� pills, but simply pills containing the chemicals required to correct an imbalance and bring things into balance. This works much in the same way that a diabetic takes insulin to correct that chemical imbalance. There is no failure in that.

Medications for depression should ONLY be prescribed by a medical professional. It is good to ask this professional questions and to make sure that any medicine is appropriate for the age of the patient and that a full and comprehensive medical history has been taken to establish any contraindications. It is very important that this type of medicine is only taken as prescribed and that the older person understands how they should take it. Self-administering gives the person a sense of self determination and power if they are able to manage, but if not there are pill cases that can be filled with a weeks supply of medications with snap out boxes for each day. These boxes can be filled by someone capable and some pharmacies offer a fill service for a small fee. In this case the medications are kept at the pharmacy rather than in the home.