From Referring to Networking to Being a Friend: it all comes back around

From Referring to Networking to Being a Friend: it all comes back around

I was in a meeting yesterday with a woman new to the area, and starting a small business. She wanted to know if I was well connected. Hmmm. Not in the way she meant - like, get me lots of business or tell me who can - but I remember people, and what they do and can usually refer people to someone good.

She asked me for some tips and I said, "Consider everyone you meet an important connection. You never know who they might know or what they might need. They might even become a wonderful friend." She agreed. Today I sent her four contacts - and told her when using my name would make a difference, and when to keep me anonymous!.

I may never get business from her, or she may turn out to be my best friend and referral network. But we don't help people because of that. At least I don't. Yea, sometimes I feel like I waste a lot of time e-mailing people I don't know very well, or looking up information for others. But believe me, others have helped me a lot too.

I used to volunteer for Literacy Volunteers, and gave a lot of time to helping a man learn to read. To some people what I’m about to say may not make sense, but he was really smart. He got to age 35 with nobody but his wife knowing he couldn’t read. Can you fathom that. He worked full time, was a great employee. But he lost jobs a lot because eventually someone would ask him to read something to them. And he couldn’t. They said he had to be able to read blue prints to do construction. He could read blueprints, but he couldn’t read other stuff. They’d have to let their best employee go - OSHA Safety regulations when working around heavy, dangerous equipment. He thought there was something wrong with him, but he just needed to be taught differently than most of us. I didn't expect anything back - in fact we weren't supposed to take anything in return, due to program guidelines. But one day my car broke down, and he was thrilled for me! Why? Because he could do something that I could not do. But nobody calls me dumb! (Well, not most people.)

Years later we ended up working at the same school, he as a custodian and me as a Social Worker. I worked with some of the toughest kids around (and some of those first graders can be tough!). I was good with kids, but he was even better. They loved him, and he would encourage them to work hard and learn to read, no matter what. They believed him more than they did me or their teachers, though he never told them the whole story, and neither did I. He gave back to those kids in ways neither one of us may ever know about. Perhaps we will have participated in the life of a future president, or astronaut, or social worker, or custodian, or friend.

© H. Kirk 2006
author, fine art photographer and digital artist, graphic designer
Books:
contributor to Chicken Soup for the Latino Soul,
author of We...a spirit seeking harmony for a world that's out of sync (poetry)
along with graphic design, business card printing, post card printing, letterhead... available at:
www.PhotoGraphicArtistry.CityMax.com

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