Graduation Blues
In eighteen days my baby boy will graduate from High School. Baby just meaning he is my youngest. I am pretty much a realist so I have been telling myself this day was coming, get ready for it. None the less, I am not doing well.
I have been raising kids for nearly thirty years and I have loved every minute of it.(Well almost every minute) He is eight years younger than my middle son, so he has been the only child at home for a long time. We are really close and there is going to be a huge hole in my life when he goes off to college. When the other kids left, I missed them alot, but he was still here. What is it going to be like now?
No Friday night football with him on the field.
No journals beside his tumbled bed.
No funny stories at the dinner table.
No good night kisses.
No Lord of the Rings marathons.
No George Staight songs from the shower.
No late night discussions about life.
No spring break road trips.... where do I stop.
I know---I should be celebrating--I wouldn't have it any other way--they must grow up--but why does it have to hurt so damn much? His father and I don't even discuss it much because we both end up depressed.
Everyone says this is a time for me---I have raised my kids and now I can do what I want. They also say it is a time to focus on my relationship with my husband. I believe them...time will bring all of that, but right now I just want to cry a bucket of tears.
Don't send in the psychiatrists yet---I will work through it ( almost like the grief process) and be ready to move on to this new phase of my life.
If you have babies at home, squeeze them tight---it sure goes fast!
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Amen! Please pass the grandchildren!
I feel your pain, I really do. I suffered from Empty Nester Syndrome three-years ago when my daughter left home for college. I was also very active with her high school and missed the activities as much as I missed her.
I continued to volunteer at the school (marching band/colorguard) for a while, but it's just not the same without a family tie to the competitions.
Then, we had a very significant event: my #2 daughter abandoned her three kids, boys 10 and 7, and a girl 1. This occurred 1.5 years ago after which we filed for legal guardianship, not willing to let the kids revert to the country.
This was the perfect cure for Empty Nester, at the cost of loosing our retirement and having to start over with a new family. My wife, oddly enough, is having more problems adjusting than I, even though I've given up ALL my weekends and many evenings to care for the kids (I'm still working).
The boys are a pain, but the girl is as cute as a button, and we will stick with it as long as we can. So be careful what you wish for!
Now, we're looking forward to #3 daughter coming to stay with us for a few weeks, with her two young daughters. Our nest overflowith.
Regards,
Wolfgang
This is sad!
It's sad in a happy way, ya know? Like, you are so blessed for all the years you had with your children and all the accomplishments they have achieved, but at the same time it must be so hard, as a parent, to watch them grow up. My son isn't 1 year old yet and I have another on the way so I always think about what the future will be like. On bad days I think, "Only 17 more years!" and on good days I think "I hope he never gets big! He's so perfect being a little baby!"
I will say this though, bloggerparty has actually REALLY helped me alot! All of the parents sharing their experiences - some funny, some not - have opend my eyes so much!
As for Wolfgang - I really respect what you did taking in your grandchildren. My grandparents are rasising my cousins two daughters because she decided that partying is more fun than raising children. Since my cousin was a huge heroine user during her first pregnancy her oldest daughter is a pain. She acts irrationally 24/7 and causes my grandmother a great deal of stress. But when the day is done everybody is safe and happy, and that's what really matters.
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I am holding my new grandaughter and typing with one hand.....life is change....change is good, but give yourself time to adjust!