After reading and commenting on laundrymom’s post today, I thought I’d focus on some good things going on in the world. I’m sure they won’t be as earth-shattering as Hillary’s tax return or that super-creepy guy that wanted a picture with Obama (really, Senator - that one needed to be on the receiving end of a stun gun!) but, good is good and we all could use some of it!

1st thing - The B-52’s have a new album! Woo-Hoo! For far too long we’ve been without their kinetic weirdness. Sure, we could listen to their old tunes, and I often do! But, I’m still pleased with this news. And, even though the first tune that’s being spun around the airwaves isn’t as good as I’d expected, that doesn’t mean that the rest won’t rock my socks off!

Another bit of good stuff for me personally, is that I’ve today begun my quest to be a quitter! As I sit and type, I’ve got the 1st of my shiny new patches secured on my upper, left arm. It’s only day 1, but I’m already a bit shaky. But, that’s only due to my previously spoken of fear that my willpower won’t hold out. So, I’ve put together as much ammo as I could think of to help me out. I have a list of “my personal reasons to quit” that I can look at all day if I need to. That may seem silly to anyone who’s never smoked, but trust me ~ when those withdrawals hit, it suddenly becomes really hard to remember WHY the hell you wanna quit! Hell, I have a hard time remembering why I want to change my eating habits when that craving for raw cookie dough hits! So, please, once more ~ ask me publicly if I’m smoking or not for a couple weeks. It’ll really help.

I also have signed up for daily email alerts to encourage me to stick with it, the kid is now thoroughly conditioned to remind me all day long to “quit smoking, mom!”, I have set myself up with a snacking-on-fruit plan to help with the oral fixation, and lastly, - though it’s not advised - I’ve gotten myself the nicotine gum. All the literature says not to use the patches and gum together, but I need all the help I can get to make it through the next two weeks! After that I should be through the worst of it and feel confident that I can ditch the gum then. Or, maybe even keep up with the gum and ditch the patches for the remaining weeks. Who knows, we’ll see. But, considering how many people I have known who’ve smoked non-stop while wearing the 21 mg patches and had no sickness ~ I’m seriously not worried about adding the 2 mg nicotine gum for now. I’m also not popping a piece unless I kinda really need it!

Ok, interesting bit of news I learned last night. The guy from ‘Eli Stone’ ~ Jonny Lee Miller ~ is British! Or, if you go by Craig Ferguson’s “map”, he’s from Twat. Regardless of which you go by, he’s English and no matter how shallow this is ~ I suddenly find him more interesting as a person. I mean, I dig the hell out of the show, but can’t help but to be more curious about the star now. That, and I’m also slightly ashamed of myself that it took the talk show to remind me he was in ‘Trainspotting’! I totally didn’t recognize him! Even when the movie came up the other night, we were way too focused on “BABY ON THE CEILING!” to think about anything else.

Next on the good stuff list is that it’s been studied AND confirmed by the CDC, the AMA, and the Dental Association that it is indeed a FACT that whenever someone is turned down by or blown off by a member of the opposite sex in a nightclub ~ they ARE GAY. This study comes after years of research gathering and tax dollars well spent for a change! Oh, and when someone is blown off by a member of the same sex, it’s also been proven that they are STRAIGHT!

In a little known about document (recently discovered by Tibetan Monks) it is foretold that Brittany Spears will be among the crew of a space expedition lost and then recovered in the year 2017. It further goes on to explain that by the year 2017 the world will have outlawed bad pop music and rich girls with no common-fucking-sense. She’ll be executed on sight and buried next to Paris Hilton.

And, finally, in yet another wise move made by the United Nations, a new satellite will be shot into space that ~ thanks to tax dollars previously misspent on weapons we’d never use ~ will target and vaporize child molesters, rapists and and fans of techno.

So, that’s it for now. And, don’t get all bitchy if absolutely everything here isn’t exactly, 100%, true-fact! I’ve not had a fag for HOURS!

GET OUTTA MY ASS!!!!!!

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