Futurespeak

I want to get into my head as much as possible. I really want to scrape the gushy particles off my gushy, mushy brain. Today I tried to get Amy (my girlfriend) to participate in some Jedi mind tricks with me- and she did by accident (I think). I wanted to see if we could engage in abstract conversations, where we could subtract the need for expository explanations and proceed to something I think I’d like to call futurespeak. I forget the specifics of what we were talking about, but I know it involved the mutual knowledge of some unknown future event (and that I was supposed to, predictably, understand this completely imagined event and then comment on it further). I fucked up by belching out what said event was/would be, though, thus pretty much nullifying my whole theory. I think if I can achieve this existential existence with Amy, then I just might be able to spend the rest of my life with her. The strange thing about this whole experience was that, I got the feeling that Amy never understood what I was talking about at all. I’m not sure if this is a signifier of her understanding this mental state completely, or that she just thought I was fucking nuts. If we could ever achieve futurespeak entirely (and I think that we could), then it’s quite possible that we wouldn’t have to talk to each other again. Not that I want that (in fact, I want the exact opposite). I’d just like to know that we connect on a wholly metaphysical level and not just a physical one (based on mutual needs and emotional dependence). I just want to know that if we have nothing to say to each, we actually have everything to say to each other. Everything meaning, a constructed (or idealized?) future that may or may not have the right to exist. Part of me also believes that if we can truly connect on this level, than we could “wish