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Funny Faces Joke #1:
(Contributed by anonymous)

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.

Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said...
"Johnny, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."

Johnny looked up and replied...
"Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."

***

A woman just back from Arizona was telling her friends about the trip.

"When my husband first saw the Grand Canyon, his face dropped a mile," she said.

"Why, was he disappointed with the view?"

"No, he fell over the edge."

***

“Fred's new girlfriend uses such greasy lipstick that he has to sprinkle his face with sand to get a better grip.”

***

"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?"

"No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."

***

Witch...
“Doctor, I can't help pulling ugly faces”.

Doctor...
“Well there's nothing terrible about that.”

Witch...
“It is when the people with ugly faces don't like them being pulled”.

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Funny Faces Joke #2:
(Contributed by anonymous)

“I don't know where you got your face from, but I hope you have the receipt”.

***

“What do I and a mirror have in common?”

“When we see your face we both crack up!”

***

Teacher...
“What a glum face, what would you say if I came to school with a face like yours?”

Pupil...
“I'd be too polite to mention it!”

***

A little boy came running into the kitchen...

"Dad, dad," he said, "there's a monster at the door with a really ugly face."

"Tell him you've already got one," said his father.

***

Once there was a church that had a bell that no one could ring.

One day, a boy came and asked the priest if he could try. So the boy went up into the tower and ran straight into the bell, face-first. The bell tolled loud and clear.

The shocked priest gave him the job. But one Sunday, he ran straight toward the bell with his face and missed and fell off the tower and died.

"Congregation," the priest said before the assembled masses.

"Does anybody know this boy's name? Because I don't know him, but his face rings a bell."

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Funny Faces Joke #3:
(Contributed by anonymous)

“My teacher's got a pretty face if you can read between the lines.”

***

“What is the hottest part of a man's face?”

“His sideburns.”

***

“Why is your face all scratched?”

My girlfriend said it with flowers.

“How romantic”.

“Not really, she hit me round the head with a bunch of thorny roses!”

***

Boy monster...
“You've got a face like a million dollars!”

Girl monster...
“Have I really?”

Boy monster...
“Yes - it's green and wrinkly!”

***

Counselor...
“Wash your face. I can see what you had for breakfast.”

Henry...
“If you're so smart, what did I have?”

Counselor...
“Eggs.”

Henry...
“Wrong. I had eggs yesterday!”

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Funny Faces Joke #4:
(Contributed by anonymous)

“Why is your nose in the middle of your face?”

“Because it is the scenter (centre).”

***

“Why did the pig have ink all over his face?”

“Because it came out of the pen.”

***

“How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face?”

“I forgot to wet the soap.”

***

Wife to Husband...
“I'll have you know I've got the face of a teenager!”

Husband to Wife...
“Then you should give it back, you're wearing it out.”

***

Fred...
“Do you like my new hairstyle?”

Harry...
“In as much as it covers most of your face, yes.”

***

First Witch...
“I like your toad. He always has such a nice expression on his face.”

Second Witch...
“It's because he's a hoptimist.”

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Funny Faces Joke #5:
(Contributed by anonymous)

“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.”

***

Fred...
“Your sister uses too much make-up.”

Harry...
“Do you think so?”

Fred...
“Yes. It's so thick that if you tell hera joke, five minutes after she's stopped laughing her face is still smiling!”

***

Patient...
“The trouble is, doctor, I keep pulling ugly faces.”

Doctor...
“Don't worry, I don't expect anyone will notice.”

***

“You can read his mind in his face.”

“Yes, it's usually a complete blank.”

***

“Did you hear about the witch who was so ugly that when a tear rolls down her cheek it takes one look at her face and rolls straight up again?”

***

Two boys were watching TV when the fabulous face and figure of Pamela Anderson appeared on the screen.

"if I ever stop hating girls," said one to the other, "I think I'll stop hating her first."

============================================

Funny Faces Joke #6:
(Contributed by anonymous)

“What is grey and hairy and lives on a man's face?”

“A mousetache.”

***

“What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter?”

The producer said...
“She had the perfect face for radio.”

***

Fred...
“You've got a Roman nose.”

Harry...
“Like Julius Caesar?”

Fred...
“No, it's roam in' all over your face.”

***

Louise was watching her big sister covering her face with cream.

"What's that for?" she asked.

"To make me beautiful," came the reply.

Louise then watched in silence as she wiped her face clean.

"Doesn't work, does it?" was her comment.

***

Fred...
“You have the face of a saint.”

Jill...
“Really? Which one?”

Fred...
“A Saint Bernard.”

============================================

Funny Faces Joke #7:
(Contributed by anonymous)

Many years ago, a fisherman and his wife had twin sons, but they didn’t know what to name them.
The husband said...
"Let's just wait. If we wait long enough, the names will simply occur to us."

After several weeks, they noticed something peculiar about the children. When left alone, one boy would face the sea, and the other would face inland.

"Let's call the boys Toward and Away," suggested the fisherman, and his wife agreed.

Years passed, and one day the fisherman told his adult sons...
"It's time that you learned how to make a living from the sea."

The fisherman and his sons provisioned their ship and set sail for a three-month voyage. At the voyage's end, the fisherman returned alone.

"What happened?" his wife cried.

"We were barely one day out to sea," the fisherman explained solemnly...

"When Toward hooked a great fish. Toward fought long and hard, but the fish was great and strong.
For whole week they wrestled upon the waves, yet eventually the great fish started to win the battle, and toward was pulled over the side.
He was swallowed whole, and we never saw either of them again."

"Oh dear!" the wife cried...
"What a huge fish that must have been! What a terrible fish! What a horrible fish!"

"Yes, it was, but you should have seen the one that got Away."

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Posted in funny cartoons | funny faces | funny jokes | funny people abcartoons's blog | | | | 60 reads

Submitted by abcartoons on March 25, 2008 - 8:11am.