Full Planes Don't Crash

I don't like flying and it's not a post-9/11 thing in the least. The odds of a terrorist incident on a flight are ridiculously slight.

And it has nothing to do with the concept of aerodynamics and such. What little I know and understand seems to make absolute sense to me.

No, I don't like to fly because of my personal experience in observing the average person's inattention to detail, particularly in jobs where they are doing repetitive things, day after endless day, hundreds, thousands of times until the sheer monotony drives them to distraction. When I fly, my concerns are with the people who tighten bolts and check items on the plane itself.

So, I was intrigued when, years ago, I read a theory that a sociologist had proffered years ago, a fellow by the name of James D.L. Staunton. Staunton had gathered data and found that there was a statistically higher number of cancellations and no-shows on flights that had crashed than expected.

He attributed this finding to the possibility that the cancellations and missed flights were actually due to passengers having a feeling that something wasn't quite right with the flight they were to take and, intentionally or inadvertently, failed to board the plane. In other words, he chalked it up to psychic whims.

Since reading this theory, I have always been comforted to look around a plane's cabin and find few empty seats. Unfortunately, it doesn't appear to be true. Staunton and his research were mentioned in Stephen King's book The Stand and an internet search reveals that it was likely nothing more than a plot device.

So, now, I have to calm myself with the statistical comparisons of air travel to other means of transportation. You know, the numbers that say you are x number of times more likely to be killed in a car accident than in a plane crash.

And speaking of such comparisons, what about the ones that offer considerations like you are more likely to hit the lottery than die in a plane crash? If I ever have the misfortune to be on a plane going down, I'm going to be pissed for a variety of reasons, but I know one thought I will have is "Damn! If I was going to hit a longshot, I'd be much more pleased to be posing with a giant cardboard check than plummeting to the earth with a bunch of strangers. This sucks."

Of course, although I hate flying, you'd never know it to observe me. I have come to rely on a tried-and-true strategy of downing a few overpriced cocktails in the airport bar prior to boarding, leaving my main travel concerns with snakes and who might be seated next to me.

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