IT'S THE ALL NEW.....SHOCKINGLY WICKED.....

NAME THAT FUNERAL!!

It's UNBELIEVABLE! It's OUTRAGEOUS! You may not know what's going to happen, but you WILL know WHEN........to YOU! It will get to your funny bone.....and then, touch your HEART!!!!

From the makers of 'STEAL, OR NO STEAL?' DUM!DUM!!!!!
(Law and Order's two-note theme song)........

TamBC and Court TV© are teaming up to bring you this non-stop, freak show that will leave you shocked, amazed, and wondering about who you really are, and who's really in you~ hosted by........ FDA spokesman Stephen King!!!!

(Stephen King??? What are the odds in THAT?)

REALITY TV at its FINEST HOUR~
and your DARKEST!

Hi; I'm Stephen King, the host of this show. Yes, that's correct. And no, I can't believe it either.

Let me tell you about this soon-to-be influx of books, movies, and extremely badly-told jokes:

There will be 4 contestants, and they will all be given a clue.

THAT clue will contain the names of complainants suing them in the THOUSANDS of lawsuits they received for harvesting body parts from cadavers throughout the New York/New Jersey area from over 30 area funeral homes, and then selling them to hospitals in other parts of the country!! You will have 30 DIFFERENT FUNERAL HOMES to choose from!!!!

Then our lovely songstress will sing a few bars of a song that relates to that possibly-diseased body part you dissected........ and and whoever can NAME THAT FUNERAL in the least amount of locations, where the hundreds of victims were given their last respects, WILL WIN THOUSANDS upon MILLIONS IN CASH PRIZES!!!

The winner at the end of the show will go on to play our bonus round called 'GOT AIDS?', with hopefully, the chance to win a vacation away from the fast-paced world of wine, women, and rigormortis, to?

The ALL new......ALL exclusive.....BrokeBack Mountain Resort~ women named John, whine for the Preparation H, and after a few Crying Game dvd reinactments, it's 'Rigormortis of the Worst Kind' reruns, and don't worry about anyone knowing....there are no front doors here......only back......you'll take in restful moments, while the sounds of your roommate's gentle grunted and extremely echoed relief, fill the stainless steel toilet, two feet away from you......ahhhhhhh~ the serene wonders and aroma of success! It's all waiting for you.

And you will reign as this week's...MACABRE BOSS!

HERE'S THE EXCITING PART!!! YOU, at home, can play along, too!!

One of those 4 male contestants is a former dentist named Michael Mastromarino, who used to do intravenous pain medications while he was with patients...what a WACKY guy!!!!

YOU can call the toll free number that will be at the bottom of your screen, and vote for which one you think he is and what year he dies in jail.
(Florida, Nebraska and Texas may call more than once.) AND, our lovely audience gets to vote on which man they think will start spilling his OWN GUTS to the feds FIRST!

Here's a quick clip:

"..........ok, gentlemen; here's your next clue -

A 42 year old woman from New Jersey had two disks replaced, being told that the donor was a young man~
her surgeon called her three months later to tell her those bones more than likely were that of an elderly, and very dead corpse......and who knows? they may have come from this man, the late host of Masterpiece Theatre.

Now, give us that songbird clue, Kathy Lee!!

(May contain subliminal message.)

"Oh, the head bone's connected to the......ear bone..... *CODY IS GOD* The ear bone's connected to the.....*GO TO HELL FRANK*....NECK BONE.....the - "
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZER!!"

Contestant #1: I can name that funeral in 7 locations.
Contestant #4: I can name that funeral in 5 locations.
Contestant #3: I can name that funeral in 3 locations.
Contestant #2: Stephen, I can name that funeral in......1 location.

Stephen King: Contestant #2, NAME THAT FUNERAL!!!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So tune in and watch this suspense-filled catastrophe and syphilis-filled domino effect of a show....people suing hospitals suing funeral directors suing people, for not being able to pay their 1000% inflated funeral for sweet Aunt Sally, who is possibly missing the entire lower half of her body.....IT'S GOING TO BE HUGE!

YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO MISS IT. Any of it~ after all, you know what they say:

There's a bit of Alistair Cooke in all of us.

And now, stay tuned for a public service message, brought to you by The Brooklyn Crematorium Foundation, unveiling their new slogan: You deserve to be whole - never dog.

NAME THAT FUNERAL will seem so real, you won't BELIEVE it's a GAME SHOW! Once it gets under your skin, LOOK OUT.

TamBC Television 2006
All Fights Reserved©

I'd be HOT if I lived in one of the areas and received a vaginal/cervical transplant. Therefore, Let the finger pointing begin, especially if it isn't your own.

This 'will' be huge~ history huge. No family involved deserved that.

The songbirds will sing unto the land, revealing and capturing the true nature within~ the unsettled souls walking the Earth, shall rest~ and the unsettled who soar above us, will continue on with their journey......

....and smile while Mr. Mastromarino gets bent. IF you know what I mean~

Oh, and one more thing.... maybe Mr. Cooke's daughter, currently a pastor, can pray for him before they hand down the verdict. He'll be saying a lot of "Oh my God, HELP ME's." He's going to be hearing, "I got a stiff one for ya riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight chere."

Alot~

Allegedly.

But, that's my view, and I'm stickin' it to'm.
Hard.