There once was a guy named Dude
He never wanted to learn anything new
He did like to fight
So he picked a fight every night
Until his face turned completely black and blue.

After that Dude was never the same
He felt like there was nothing really to gain
In picking fights every night
So he quit picking fights
And tried to not go insane.

In time Dude got bored
Until finally he didn't want to live anymore
So he picked one last fight
With a beast of a man he met one night
And 100 punches ended Dudes life for evermore.

The funeral wasn't an open casket
Because Dude didn't look fantastic
After 100 punches to his face and body
He really looked pretty shoddy
And with all that mortician makeup he looked pretty plastic.

After the funeral they burned Dude up
And someone threw all of his ashes on top
Of the bars that Dude picked all his fights in
In memory of how his life went
And the fight that ended his life in 100 pops.