Dude and Dude: Thanksgiving
"C'mon, dude, you ready yet?"
" ... huuunngghh ..."
"Look, dude. It's not my fault you spent three days in line waitin' to blow your blog profits plus half the rent money on one of those goddam PS3s, then stayed up all night figuring out that your PS2 disks don't work in it. Now, we gotta roll!"
"Roll what, dude? I could use a toke ..."
"You're S.O.L., dude. It's not a what, it's a where. O Ceallaigh's got a family besides us, y'know. And we're goin' to go see 'em."
"Do they live in California?"
"Strike two, dude. Massachusetts. Few more chicks than here. But the weather's still cold and wet, like Maine. And the chicks won't be any more inclined to compete with your video games there than here."
"Then why we gotta go? What them people in Taxachusetts got that we ain't got?"
"Heartbeats?"
"OK, cool. We don't go flub-dubbing around the place. We don't fart, neither. Does his serene scientific majesty, the great O C, ever think of that?"
"Dudes have been command-Xed for less, dude."
"That's control-Xed, for those of us who have computers that actually run software, dude. You still ain't told me why we have to make this goddam trip."
"Urgent update, dude. It's Thanksgiving. Y'know? Turkey? Stuffin'? Cranberry sauce? Rugrats underfoot? Football on the tube, and half the room pissed off 'cause there's football on the tube?"
"That's thrilling, dude. You want to stick me in with a bunch of strange people who get together on one day of the year to eat stuff they won't touch any other time? To remind themselves why it is that, for the remaining 364 days, they refuse to have anything to do with each other? What does O Ceallaigh see in it?"
"Maybe he wants to see somebody who doesn't smell like an overheated laptop battery. Maybe he's thankful for that opportunity."
"He's thankful. He sticks us in the Maine wilderness, with no chicks within cooee, and even if there were they'd all be wrapped up in fourteen layers of moose fur to keep from freezin', and he's thankful? Selfish S.O.B. What about me? What the hell have I got to be thankful for?"
"That I let you back into the house after you spent those three days camped in front of a goddam computer store without changing your clothes or nothin'?"
"As if you're God's gift to organic chemistry. So OK, we're goin'. But why today? It's Monday. Thanksgivin' ain't 'til Thursday."
"Because, if you'd been here to monitor your blog traffic, you'd have found out there's nobody online. And that's because they're already all on the road. We don't get out of here soon, there won't be anyplace to stay in Massachusetts but the street. And O C doesn't feel like spending Thanksgiving looking like he spent the past week waiting outside to be too late to spend too much money on a PlayStation."
"Look, did I get it or didn't I?"
"Let me tell you something else you might get. If you're ready in fifteen minutes, you can bring the thing along with us. Otherwise we're going to drag you off and you'll have to leave it beh ... Dude? Guess that means we'll see you in fifteen, dude!"
- O Ceallaigh
Copyright © 2006 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.
All opinions are mine as a private citizen.
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Them Dudes Prof. O'C
I can't seem to get e'nuff of them fellas' and even though I aint into the PS2&3 and all that other puter stuff like Dude is I always imagine that if I wasn't the figament of imagination that I wound up bein' I'd want a figmator like you Professor. Have a good T-day from Ol' Bob
Adios Bob
You gotta watch out for those figmators, Bob
But here's hoping your holiday goes well too. Thanks.
Them figmators can be confusin' and frustratin'
and Ol' Bob sometimes feels like I M walkin' on glass and I should be mindin' my PC's and Q's regardin' what I got to be spoutin' off about on any given day, regardless of how much of the El Beero I mighta had to drink...anywhoo, get the Dudes loaded up and get on down the road. You have a good one and be safe.
Adios,
Bob
mmmmm dinner...
cant wait
turkey
green beans
gravvvvvy
mashed potato
onions
squash
dot maureen
shawnmandacolleen
chuck
cant wait
i love dinner
and i do see those people more
than once a year
i see them at christmas too
mmmmmm
dinner
raost beef
gravvvvvvvvvy
potato
...
I can't wait neither, n
See ya Thursday.
It has been a long time, since I read your post.
Though well written by your high standards, there can be people like us whose comprehension is somewhat lower. Kindly write some simpler blogs also for persons like me.
multisubj, I hear you ...
.... but I'm afraid this is kinda a sensitive subject for me.
I write what comes out and share it, and will take my hits for it. There are plenty of people here who are happy to write "Oooga oooga" and "Flavor Flav and Hoopz Don't Last". Some of them can even manage it. They are welcome to do so. They might even make money at it. I choose to do something else. For writing and for cash.
I vividly remember being confronted in my office at the university, when I was a professor thereat, by a lad (scruffy dude he was) who was very upset at me because he was failing one of my classes. "It's your job to make things easy for me", he lectured. I was already teaching at such a low level, I was ashamed to be releasing these people into the world with a B.Sc., saying they were competent to do biology, when I knew better. Shortly thereafter, I left university teaching, and have not returned.
It is up to me to make what I write as intelligible as possible, if I wish any of it to be read by anyone. But the reader bears some responsibility too. In these United States, overall reading skills have dropped precipitously in the last 50 years. Because, I think, people insist that everything be made easy for them. This keeps up, there won't be words anymore. We will have only picture icons on our storefronts and our computer screens. Just like the Dark Ages.