“Hey dude, have you seen the …"

“Shhhh!"

“Who how why…?"

“I’m listening".

“Without earbuds? To what? All I hear is the same street noises we’ve been hearing since we moved into this dump."

“I’m listening to my heart, dude. Or would be if I could get some quiet."

“Saaaa – reeee. Here, let me turn the TV on real loud for you. And … hey, the da Silvas should have started their nightly argument fifteen minutes ago. Are they sick or something? - What are you on about this time?"

“Says here that if I listen to my heart really carefully, it will tell me things I need to know, and I’ll be a better person for it."

“And that’s how come you had your face all scrunched up like you was wringing a wet towel?"

“Well, I was concentratin’. Trying to make out what my heart was sayin’. It wasn’t sayin’ it very loud, whatever it was."

“Try ‘thub-dub, thub-dub, thub-dub’, moron. You didn’t drop any dinero on this bright idea, did you?"

“No, I got it off a blog."

“Well, praise the Lord and save the rent money. Dude, your heart’s got about enough brains to do the ‘thub-dub’ thing three trillion times in a row. Assuming you don’t give it anything to think about. You stay out of the Army and off the cancer sticks, and don’t go wrapping the car around a tree with you in it. You’re looking for secret messages, apply at the White House."

“But, y’know, dude, what about those times when your brain says 'do this' and your heart says 'do that'?"

“Like stay in bed ‘til three in the afternoon instead of get up and do laundry, so you can have clothes that you can walk in instead of them walking you? That’s sentiment versus sense, emotion versus logic. Man does not live by math alone. It’s all in your head, dude. A sad place for it to have to be in your case, but it’s not like it has a choice."

“Man, that’s cold. No wonder you don’t get any."

“Just following where you lead, dude. Tell me: can you still turn the pages on that Sports Illustrated I got you?"

  - O Ceallaigh

Copyright © 2006 Felloffatruck Publications, featuring The New Millennium Devil's Dictionary. All wrongs deplored.

All opinions are mine as a private citizen.