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Where do you draw the line between getting even and warning someone? Don'tDateHimGirl.com has recently inspired hot debate on the subject, so I thought I would weigh in with my own experience with the site designed to let women report on their cheating exes.

I got out of a bad relationship three years ago and have always felt bad that he's out there most likely hurting other women with his lies and his infidelity. When we broke up I felt like renting a billboard in his town with an ad warning other women about him. But somehow that kind of thinking just felt like revenge thinking, and I told myself--you were raised better than that.

But now that I've put the experience behind me, I still think about those women out there just like me--smart, loving, upstanding girls who just want to be in a good relationship--falling prey to him. I figure, he has two ex-wives (yes, I was a little, um, naive three years ago...) and who knows how many angry ex-girlfriends...he's not going to stop cheating and lying to women to get what he wants. And he's not going to stop destroying the lives of strong, interesting women who are too good for him.

I entered him into the database on DontDateHimGirl.com in the hopes that some girl who's dating him--or her friend or sister or mother or landlady or Tupperware lady--will see him on this site and warn her of what a destructive loser he is. I feel like if I can spare one woman the pain I went through, that's an accomplishment.

I know there has been a lot of controversy lately Don'tDateHimGirl.com. And I have to admit I had reservations about it: It could get misused by dishonest people who just want to get even. But thinking about my own situation, I KNOW my ex is going to cheat again, so don't I owe it to other women to put a warning out there? I have no interest in ruining his life, but he is responsible for his own behavior, and if he values his career and everything so much, he should be more of a stand-up person.

Here's what happened to me. I had just started dating him, and my inner voice was telling me he was shady. But I didn't listen. I'm envisioning some woman out there who's dating him and getting that same feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. Maybe if she finds out about him early, she'll get out of the situation before things get ugly. I wish I'd had a site like Don'tDateHimGirl.com to confirm that sick feeling. That's where I think the site can help people, whatever you think about its possible misuses.

People who think the site is unethical should also consider that there's nothing stopping anyone from setting up a site called Don'tDateHerGuy.com! If there really are just as many female cheaters out there, I have no problem with giving good guys a forum to warn their pals about the bad girls.

But last I checked, so many of you fellas are actually *looking* for loose women, so I'd imagine that domain name will be available for quite a while...

Posted in cheating boyfriends | Don'tDateHimGirl.com Word Witch | | | | 2069 reads