Denial is the Best Way to Ensure a Repeat Performance
Yes, I am going to continue to harp on this for a minute. At least until the whole fervor dies down a bit. The only reason the news agencies have slowed their coverage is because they came under such fire for running the footage of the killer's tapes; in fact, their actions tie-in directly to the point I'm about to make.
That point, in the short form, I can give you right now: it shouldn't take 33 deaths to bring about serious discussion of these issues and the underlying system. If you haven't realized that the system doesn't work by now, you're deluding yourself; it's called Denial and it's an actual Psychological term. Unfortunately, Denial is literally an American way of life...
Yes, these events do happen elsewhere in the world - in other countries, in other cultures, and so forth - but they tend to happen most often in America and it is directly related to our very culture.
After this event, watching Anderson Cooper tonight, at least 3-4 women - and I make this point because it is valid - called or wrote in with very cold attitudes toward the killer, toward his possible abuse, and toward mental illness, in general. The point is valid because women tend to be more aggressive toward those people and/or issues with which they disagree than men. You can argue otherwise, but it's just the truth; men may war more often, but women are more likely to socially ostracize the person/people, confront them vocally, or engage in passive-aggressive behavior meant to let the person know they disagree with them, their position, or their beliefs. On these fronts, men (not politicians) truly tend to be - not more "forgiving," but more "live and let live." Those are some generalities, but it's something I've noticed in what people are saying in response to both this and the Winkler case.
It angers me to hear these people be so cold and so matter-of-fact. Not only are they laypeople, completely ignorant to such matters, they are also Type-A personalities (read: Assholes) who are allowing their emotions to speak for them. They can say whatever they like, but it's just more posturing. Regardless of what such people think, their mindset is tantamount to that of Cho Seung-hui's: unforgiving, reckless, and mean.
No one - absolutely no one - is suggesting that the other 32 people involved were not victims; that's no question; that's a no-brainer. And if you even suggest that anyone who notes that this guy wasn't in his right mind and couldn't think straight - that he was incapable of making the right decisions because of his illness - is trying to excuse his behavior or suggesting that he should be excused, then you're just playing the victim yourself. That's not what anyone's suggesting, so there's no need for demagoguery.
The very simple fact of the matter is that this guy's brain was screwy. He could not think correctly. In his mind, I'm sure he felt pretty justified in his actions - and if you consider it from a "war" mindset, a "kill or be killed" outlook, then it becomes wholesale murder, not mass murder. And that excuses neither his actions nor war in general; it is just meant to define the two for comparison.
That the rest of the world was not out to get him is not the point; in his mind, he thought we were. It's called "delusional," and it's very powerful and very real.
One of the callers (yes, a woman), mentioned that '...a lot of people were bullied or abused as children, and we didn't kill anyone to get even..." And to that, I'd like to say, "A lot of us aren't doctors, but we managed to learn something about Psychology, so we don't make completely dumbass statements like that."
I'm really, really upset over this whole idea that "being mentally ill is no excuse for behaving that way."
Um... let me put that into context for you:
- "Having cancer is no reason for all that coughing."
- "Compound fracture? I didn't need crutches when I broke my leg."
- "Brain tumor? Brain tumor this, pal. If you wanted to read a book, you'd read a book. Quit making excuses!"
There is a HUGE difference between an "excuse and a reason. "I can't write because I only have a pencil and I don't like to write in pencil," is an excuse; "I can't write because there IS NO pencil to write with," is a reason.
No one's saying that killing others is "okay" because this guy was sick; we are saying that this guy killed those people - and himself - because he was sick. Those are two completely different things.
And this "badass," cowboy, "don't brook no bullshit," American attitude is precisely the kind of behavior that provokes all people to violence. The only difference is that some people literally can't function well enough to control their impulses - or simply don't comprehend why they need to.
But let's put all that aside for a moment and realize one very important thing:
If this guy had lived, what was going to happen to him?
That's right: he'd have been put to death after suffering even more abuse in prison.
That's like saying, "I know you have cancer, so I'm going to put you on medicine and make you better. Once you're all better, I'm going to kill you for having the nerve to put me through all this crap by allowing yourself to get cancer."
I could go on about provocation and use a good Americanism - the very one everyone else would be using, had this kid been caught and convicted and sentenced to death - and note that, if these people did in fact bully him, then "they got what they deserve," "they had it coming," "well, they should have expected that," and so on and so forth. But that doesn't really apply to this particular situation anyway.
Regardless of how he was treated as a child, Cho Seung-hui's victims had no connection to him. This is the case of young man who was terribly mentally disturbed. No, he didn't so much "snap" as enter a downward spiral from which he did not - and probably could not - come back.
It's not so much a matter of premeditation, because he wasn't thinking straight. You have to understand that - much like the woman who drowned her kids in the tub - in his mind, he thought he was doing the right thing. He felt he had to do this thing; he was driven, delusional, and demented.
You cannot hold people responsible for being ill. Especially when you ignored all the warning signs - and in this case, there were many, many, many - and left him alone to die.
He was wrong in thinking that everyone was out to get him; no one gave a damn about him. In some ways, his words ring true: we have blood on our hands that will not wash off.
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Great Post ManoDogs
I think you laid this out eloquently. Have to say that I agree with every word. We live in a blaming culture in the west, no-one is willing to say the buck stops here - I wonder what those women would have said had it been their son who was ill.
suejeff
Thanks, Suejeff
I know it's a rant, but on rereading it, I guess it makes most all of my points somewhat succinctly. I hated to include the thing about women, but between this event and a trial (Mary Winkler - the wife of a preacher who shot and killed him and then said she was abused by him and was convicted of a lesser crime - intentional manslaughter or something like that) that was going on here, most of the women who have proffered their opinions have been of a more or less single mind. Of course, this could be the fault of the media, but from personal experience, I have noticed that most men tend to just avoid confrontations, where most women tend to dive headfirst into them. But I don't want that to detract from the real point.
This guy couldn't help himself. He truly was as much a victim as everyone else who was shot and killed. In a very real way, this is as much a natural disaster/Act of God as any weather-related tragedy, simply because this guy was twisted into form and became a force of nature by way of his illness.
Had the system in place been more effective, had the people who observed him been more tenacious, had the guns he acquired been harder to get, this would not have happened. But the guy would still have been sick! And that's important, because everyone's trying to make excuses for not changing the system(
in place:
"This isn't about gun control, this isn't about the mental health system, this isn't about caring for your fellow man, this isn't about 'it takes a village,' or 'being my brother's keeper,' etc. etc."
But it damn well IS!
If any one of these things had been different, things would not have played out the way they did; if all of these things had been different, this event would not have happened at all. BUT, this guy would still have been sick!
Politicians, the media, those in power in general, want us to focus on this one guy as the real Evil. Why? Because they don't want to deal with these other sticky issues because they don't want to alienate any of their (possible) constituents.
Now that's REAL Evil.
- Manodogs
Manodogs is BACK!!! LOL
Sassys
Ok brat, again I agree with all of this. My favorite point you make here ( out of several I might add) Is that this country is and has been in denial since the American Indians where systematically wiped out, you will find to this day people that would argue that point. But what separates us from the rest of the world is our sheer arrogance, we would put down any other country and call them backwards or old fashioned in their denial.
Point two I agree with simply BECAUSE I am a woman:) I will be more fierce than any man could dream of being, I do not possess the physical strength a man does, so it's almost by nesecity(SP?) that I would be colder. That balances the automatic compassion felt for the victims...some are not smart enough to realize that the shooter was also a victim of sorts. Great post and maybe the media will read this and like minded posts and stop acting like the news is an old Rag Mag and just tell the viewers the facts. I miss turning on the news and seeing news.
Hear You Roar
Heh. I guess I am a ranting little brat, but I feel strongly about the things about which I feel strongly.
I'm glad you agree with the points I make, and I couldn't agree more as to "turning on the news and seeing news," but we all know that things won't change until we do.
We individuals comprise society as a whole, yet too many of us take up with only certain factions of the entire society. I'm a jock; I'm a nerd; I'm a rocker; I'm a mod. But this isn't highschool anymore; this is "The Real World" our parents worked so hard to protect us from back then, and it's long since time we stood up and either ousted Those In Power or let them know that we, without question, disagree with their politics and the way they are [mis-]handling things.
It's not a "war" I want to fight either, but it's something that I realize, as a member of this larger, overall society, I have to - if for no other reason than everyone else is too afraid to.
Could this tragedy have been avoided? Without question.
Would something like this have happened - and always happen - no matter what? Without question.
But it's really stupid to just throw our hands up and reassure one another that there's nothing any of us can do, regardless. Again, if that's your position, just leave your doors unlocked and sign all your checks in advance, because if anyone really wants to break-in and forge your name, they're gonna find a way.
Quit making scapegoats of individuals and stand up - as a society - and say, "We were wrong in our approach to this situation."
Of course, that's a hollow statement without actually changing the approach.
There is NOTHING wrong in being wrong. It's embarrassing, it can be humiliating, sometimes it's even tragic, but - to honestly intelligent people - you were just wrong. That's all. You worked toward something, some goal or by some belief (even if left undefined), that you truly believed in and you found out too late wasn't the right goal the right path or whatever. This is called "acceptable loss."
On quite the other (sinister) hand, there is the maxim, "Those who dismiss history are doomed to repeat it."
- Manodogs
Very true Manodogs
Sassys
And along with that is another very scary saying "There has never been a weapon made that hasn't eventually been used" Scary as hell!
The intelligencia in this country is but a very small faction...maybe 10 percent. So to change things, first one needs to change the education. We used to be a country to contend with when it came to education...not so any more. It's a matter of people recognizing "the lie" when they hear it or see it. It's also not something that can't be accomplished, it can be, but it would require a lot of passion, and patience.
Ah, Manodogs, so well said!
You speak for me, as well, buddy. This guy was ignored and shuffled around and then completely outside the system - he needed help, he deserved help, someone - lots of someones - recognized that he needed the help - and he did not receive that help. As a result, 33 people are dead.
I repeat 33 people, not 32, as the media has been reporting it the last couple of days - completely ignoring the fact that, along with the 32 people that he killed, Cho Seung-hui, another human being, died, too.
32 Balloons
I saw earlier on CNN where the students at VA Tech went back to classes. Before that though, they had a ceremony in which they rang a bell 32 times and released 32 balloons in honor of all the people who were lost.
Isn't that convenient?
Now Cho Seung-hui is no longer a human and has never really been perceived as a victim. That's all just too messy; much easier to create a "monster" - a scapegoat - and wash our hands of the whole matter and move on.
It'll happen again of course, but there's really nothing we can do about that, is there? So let's just wait until the next big shooting so we can see who the bad guys really are. Cuz they're out there, there's just nothing we can do to stop them.
And if we happen to make a little money off them - get better ratings, increase our commercial spot pricing, generate some good buzz - well, they deserve it and we're all just doing our jobs, so don't blame us! After all, we can't do anything about it but wait for it to happen again.
- Manodogs
Yep, much messier to have to look at what really happened.
I mean, we like our villains, but we don't want to have to tackle a really big villain - like the assholes that ignored Cho Seung-hui's problems all those years - and the idiot that actually sold him a gun - or whatever idiot let his paperwork for the gun slip through unchallenged. We much prefer a villain that can't put up much of a fight - even better, one who can longer put up a fight at all.
Villains Big and Small, Live and Dead
Exactly! Even better when they leave behind a press kit which likely chronicles their devolution, but is much better put to use in small, convenient pieces which, when taken completely out of context, paint Our Villain out to be as villainous as they come.
And, again, there's no doubt that Cho Seung-hui's actions were deplorable, but I did not know the guy, so I'm not going to dismiss him completely as a human being. He may have been just downright Evil - just mean for no good reason - but even if this were true, I still insist that, given his mental condition and state of mind at the time of the murders, he was incapable of making a rational decision.
- Manodogs
Absolutely, MD.
You said it much better than I ever could.
I Thought You Did Pretty Well
:c)
I was just elucidating on a hypothesis, is all.
- Manodogs
"Elucidating!" Oooooo, talk dirty to me some more!!!
I liiiike it!
I Are a Writer
Do my $0.50 words make you HOT?
- Manodogs
Oh, baby, oh, baby! Those $0.50 words really do it for me.
Come on, take me all the way - give me a $0.75 word. Pleeeease! **le pant, le puff**
One $0.75 Word Coming Right Up - Why Not a Whole Phrase?
Geopolitically-based disestablishmentarianism.
- Manodogs
Oh, damn, I wish I had waited til I got home from work before I
read this. You really know how to take a girl all the way. I'm getting some very strange looks from my co-workers and my boss just hollered at me and told me I needed to keep the noise down.
But it was worth it, baby. You're the best - the very best. Honestly, I've never told this to another guy, you give the best words I've ever had. And you've got the biggest vocabulary I've ever seen. Oh man, I get all hot just thinking about the size of your vocabulary.
Call me?
I Mispelled the First Time
If you notice the actual URL, I misspelled "Denial" the first time I made the post. I was going with "Denying," then switched it to "Denial," but I misspeled it.
I guess all writers misplee one or too words from time to time...
- Manodogs
