Every life has its’ defining moments. In terms of archetypes, this can be seen as the Night Sea Journey so eloquently depicted by Homer in The Odyssey. Odysseus, en route home, experiences many a defining moment in his twenty-year journey. The many ordeals at sea each had a sculpting and molding on his ever-maturing psyche.

These defining moments, often stressful, bring flavor and meaning to life. There is a pattern that occurs, possibly unrecognizable with anything but hindsight. We may be aware that we are in the midst of a ‘night-sea journey’, yet the luxury of reflection comes typically after-the-fact.

CALAMITY

This is when something disruptive occurs. Norms are violated and comfort zones are turned upside down.

My soul mate has died, for instance.

ORDEAL

This is the struggle, the adjustment, the bargaining, the feeling so overwhelmed that belief that resolution will occur seems questionable at best, and hopeless in the worst-case scenario.

This is being IN the stress and experiencing the ‘erosion’ process that reshapes, sculpts, and molds. While in it, disintegration is more the word that comes to mind. There is no sense of comfort zone here. Some call it hell. Others find ‘relief’ in mind-altering substance, thusly impacting in some fashion their own particular learning curve.

I grapple with the loss of my soul mate, quite possible white-water rafting through stages of grief as described by Kubler-Ross.

RETURN

While there may be no complete and comprehensive resolution, there is a return to some new (and improved?) version of the comfort zone. Consciousness has been expanded and emotional capacity has been stretched. In terms of stress, fight or flight toxins return to their baseline homeostatic state.

I accept the loss of my soul mate. I forge a new way of living, carrying the absence in always evolving ways.

And a defining moment has gone full circle.

WHAT ARE YOUR DEFINING MOMENTS

deorre