I woke up this morning shivering under my blanket and covered in sweat. I looked around the apartment and saw there was trash everywhere, opened bottles of liquor, clothes across the floor. I kept the blanket around me and went to look at the heater and it was already at seventy degrees. I pushed the dial to the right and turned it up.

If it's seventy degrees why the hell is it so god-damn cold? Well, did you remember to have a nice stiff drink right before you went to bed? Of course I did. Are you sure? Well, of course I can't be sure of it. It was late and who knows what I did. Well, there you have it then - that's why you're shivering. Alright, I better make this first drink stronger than usual. I wonder where I got all this liquor anyway?

I sat down on the couch and picked up the bottle of vodka. There were empty glasses covering the table and I counted them. There were seven all together. Seven drinks. That's not a hell of a lot, then. Seven drinks over the course of an entire day and you may not even be drunk at any one point. You used each glass more than once, stupid. Well, maybe it's a lot, then. Ten, fifteen, twenty... who knows? It's not like I've kept count.

Suddenly then I remembered the strange man with the thin hair and the glasses. He had come to see me several times and each time he shook his head disappointedly but all I could think about was his thin hair and the white frames of his glasses.

"How many drinks would you say you have in a given day?" He talked slowly and condescendingly, as if speaking to a child.

"I don't know."

"Do you think you could give me an estimate?"

"A what?"

"A guess."

"I really don't know."

The next day he gave me a silver and blue card that had his name and phone number on it and a pencil. He told me to make a mark on the back of the card each time I had a drink and afterwards to keep the card in the pocket of my jacket. I told him that I wasn't sure if I could remember to do that but he told me to try my best and he would come see me tomorrow.

The next day I woke up and I saw the card lying on the table next to my bed. I picked up the pencil and carried the card with me when I went into the living room for a drink. What the hell is that card for? I thought. It's to keep track of what I drink. What for? For the doctor guy. He's not a doctor, he's a grief counselor. Is he? How should I know? Hell, maybe he is a doctor. Either way you should do what he says. Mark that card with a line for this drink. But it's a double - shouldn't I mark it twice? No, just mark it once.

I put a mark on the back of the card and throughout most of the day I remembered to do it. I forgot a few times but thought that it wouldn't matter and no day is really typical, anyway. When the man with the thin hair and the glasses came back he asked me to see the card and I held it out and gave it to him. He started talking very fast, not like he usually did, and he looked at me and waited. When I didn't say anything he started again.

"Did you do exactly as I asked?"

"Yes. One mark for every drink."

He looked at me and shook his head and excused himself to use the telephone. I sat calmly and was feeling pretty good about myself and was proud that I had been able to do something that took so much remembering and I had done it nearly perfectly. There you go. You're not so crazy after all, are you? No, certainly not. You're not that bad at all.

Afterwards the image of the man's thin hair and glasses stayed in my head. I was looking at the empty glasses sitting on the table in front of me again and counting them. There were only seven. Seven drinks isn't so bad for a day, is it? Let's not start this again...

I got a new glass from out of the cabinet and put it on the table. I poured a drink. I was supposed to do something important, wasn't I? Sure you were. Well, what is it? You were supposed to make this drink a little stronger because you weren't sure what you did last night. Oh, you're right. I better make it a double. Double is usual, stupid. Make it stronger. Well, alright.

There it is. The shivering went away and suddenly I was feeling very hot again. I went over to the heat and saw I had turned it up to eighty degrees. Everything was back to normal now and I went back to the couch and poured myself another drink.

What a great start to the day.