I don't generally pay commercials much attention, but there are some pretty good ones. Some are funny -- downright hilarious, sometimes -- others have neat effects or an amusing situation, but for the most part they're just commercials and I pay them no mind.

But every so often, there comes a commercial that annoys the living hell out of me. It happens to everyone, it just seems that when it happens to me, it's the commercial(s) they show every commercial break.

This sort of thing sounds kind of silly and inconsequential, but it's a lot like getting an ugly look from a stranger in a supermarket: it can ruin your whole day, if you let it. A dumb jingle gets stuck in your head and your every other thought turns back to that until you want to drive a nail through your ear. Some quirkily-delivered phrase ("Where's the beef?!") gets stuck in your head and you keep thinking it until the compulsion to act it out becomes too much to bear, then you find yourself in the middle of the supermarket, screaming, "Try my product!"

These, then, are the commercials playing right now that I literally hate. No, loathe, despise, eschew. And they play them every damned commercial break, without fail -- sometimes twice in the same break!

• Verne Troyer's inane car insurance ad. I can't even remember which company it's for -- Safe Auto or Geico or something -- but it makes me want to crawl through the TV and poke him in his wee, little eye. It's not that it's demeaning to midgets or anything like that; it's demeaning to everyone. I mean, did this guy's manager/agent even see this thing before they put it on the air? Hell, did Troyer?! This is the stupidest thing I've seen in a while! Rapping about taillights and "got my car fixed." I have the worst feeling that he ad-libbed all of this, which is even sadder, because absolutely none of it makes sense or is even the least bit amusing.

• The Monster.com commercial. "Do ya, do ya, want my love? I need it!" What the living HELL does that have to do with finding a JOB?! No, Monster, I do not want your "love," you dopes! I want a JOB! If I wanted love, I'd go to an entirely different website. How the hell are you going to find me a job when you don't even know what the hell your own website is used for?! AAARRRGGHHH!

• The Jell-O commercial. If you have kids or like classic TV, I know you've seen this one at least 3249873294820497 hundred times, because both TVLand and Nick@Nite show it at LEAST once every commercial break, usually twice! It's that one with the insipid jingle that goes something like, "Wiggle while you're jiggling free, with the wiggle while the jigglin's free. Wiggle." I want to throw up my shoelaces everytime that damn thing comes on. I want to kick a puppy or strangle a kitten. I have been half asleep at 3 in the morning and faintly heard this damn thing from the edges of much-needed REM sleep and shot straight up to mute it. I may never eat Jell-O, ever, ever again.