Cabin Fever... whew!

Where to begin? Not just me, mind you; this should have been the very question on writer/director, Eli Roth's, mind before this project ever went into production... if you've seen Donnie Darko, you know what I'm talking about.

Let me start off by saying that I enjoyed Cabin Fever -- somewhat -- perhaps as much as one can, to be honest. I really wanted to like it, mind you, but it's just such a mess that it's hard to really enjoy -- exactly like Donnie Darko. And I don't buy the argument that I just don't like Roth's "style" -- unless you consider not being able to tell a story a "style."

Just like Darko, the cinematography and direction is really excellent -- beautiful work! -- but the story is disjointed and patchy, at best. The pacing... well, Roth's attempts at pacing in all of his movies is better spelled "p-a-d-d-i-n-g." And while he excels at certain stream-of-consciousness tricks (flashes and montages, both in -- and out -- of linear sequence), he has not yet mastered how to use them. But the pictures are so gorgeous -- this cat could teach Picasso a thing or two about composition! -- that you could let it go, if only it weren't so blatantly obvious... I mean distracting. Even if the story isn't told in a linear fashion, there needs to be a story, not just images for the viewer to ponder in-between full-fledged scenes.

The characters are cartoonish to the point of trite outlandishness; it's apparent that Roth has either never even visited the South or was raised here from birth. The stilted dialogue is obvious even with perfect delivery. And the comedy is trite and dour -- that kind of "cutting-edge" bullshit that completely relies on shock value alone, and isn't that damned funny to begin with.

As far as gore goes, Cabin Fever has a bit. It's no Evil Dead or Suspiria, but it's got its moments. And, speaking of which, the influences are so obvious that it verges on blatant -- Joe Dante, the aforementioned Evil Dead, all the zombie flicks...

What it comes down to is that Cabin Fever's very strengths are its weaknesses. It's a sophomoric attempt at making a film and while that frees it in many ways, it also limits it in most others. Like Roth's other films, it never chooses one road or the other: it's drop-dead serious one moment, then playful and pointless the next. And that's just padding -- shit thrown in at the last minute to avoid actually thinking about it or working on it -- to make the flick a little longer.

Cabin Fever is one of the few movies that actually deserves a remake; it's a great premise and a workable story, it's just a really poor execution. It's worth a view, but only if nothing else is on and you don't mind wasting a bit of time.

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