Why do women need to eternally justify their presence in the workplace through the concept of 'merit'? Is it a tacit acknowledgement that they are, in fact, 'inferior' and, if any woman actually makes it her gender has been done a great favour and they all should be grateful? Are women not entitled to be appointed or promoted without any undue enquiries as to their worth?

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Valerie Bertinelli, best known for her 1975-84 sitcom One Day at a Time, has joined Kirstie Alley as the new celebrity face and body for Jenny Craig. Valerie, who is only 5'2", and turned 47 recently, vowed to lose 30 lbs by September (going from a size 14 to a size 8). According to her, such a diet: "is freeing because I can say it first: I know what you're thinking: I'm fat." Instead of celebrating her accolade by acknowledging her advantages as she is, the first thing she thinks of is losing weight. She gets her big chance, thanks to her body, then immediately starts to knock it! Talk about being grateful!

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It is now official. Recent research has discovered the single most important thing which definitely adds years to our life and it is not what you might readily believe. It is a little surprising, in fact. However, in discovering this key to longevity, they also uncovered other essentials which extend our existence and explain why some people are more prone to die earlier than others.

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I am a member of MySpace which now has over 180 million users. On three occasions recently I have read bulletins from my friends talking of culling their friends list because they have never heard from some of those friends. They complain about the lack of contact and mention expectation of better behaviour from their 'friends'. But if I used that logic on my list of over 3500 friends, I would be down to about 100! Yet many of those silent friends read my bulletins, laugh at my jokes, appreciate my presence and, just once in a while, make contact to affirm me and thank me for being there.

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Many people see my constant, happy smile and make instant assumptions about me and my past. However, my childhood was a pretty traumatic one. In the bad old days, as I call them, I would pass a mirror, momentarily liked what I saw but then suddenly, and inexplicably, would start telling myself that I was 'crap', that I 'hated' myself and I was 'pathetic'. I had buried my trauma deep inside me, refusing to face them and, slowly, it took its toll in a continuous lack of self-love and low self-esteem. Gradually, and painfully, I learned that I had to sort out my past, face it and move on, and then begin the slow process of self-love. The wonderful result is clear to see now.

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It is always a difficult process making new friends and bridging that interactive gap, especially for people seeking new dates and partners. But wishing, hoping and dreaming about finding our ideal partner, without any form of strategy will lead nowhere. Serious people do not leave everything to chance. They try their utmost to increase the possibilities of meeting that ideal person by doing something about it, even if it is to strike up a simple conversation. A lack of interest in others, exaggerated fears, a need for approval, a focus on ourselves and social protocol (especially for women) make it hard for us to communicate or use our initiative to bridge that gap with a stranger.

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The short answer is 'Yes', but with conditions.

Men and women cannot be friends from the very beginning because the reason why a man, in particular, will be interested in a woman is not platonic. It is most likely to be sexual. At the start, two strangers of the opposite sex are always drawn together through basic physical attraction, nothing else. There is always the hope, by at least one party, that the friendship will lead to something more intimate, and possibly permanent. Friendship under that guise cannot ever be platonic. There will always be tension as one person tries to keep the other person as a 'friend' and the other tries to move that friendship along to something else.

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According to a recent survey in the UK, more than 55% of people are unfaithful to their partners. The rise of the mobile phone, Internet dating sites/chat rooms and greater work freedom for both men and women, ensure that it is far easier to have an affair, or start a new relationship with someone, without current partners knowing about it. It is also very easy to get indignant when our partner strays, to condemn them in vitriolic terms and accuse them of being 'bastards' 'whores' or 'terrible cheats'. But sometimes getting self-righteously angry, without acknowledging our part in the process, simply delays the inevitable: the final break-down of the relationship.

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Teenagers in today's society have, to a great degree, the best and the worst of all worlds.

First, they are born into a society that couldn't be more revolutionary and innovative. They have all these gadgets at their disposal that their parents dreamt of and their grandparents couldn't even imagine. They have an incredible amount of information to aid their development. They also have opportunities galore to express themselves, to extend their reach, to discover their potential and to enhance their life quality. They would not be able to imagine what my world was like, 50 years ago, having to read by candles, having no phones at all, having nothing electrical and hardly any buses (we had to walk everywhere!). The mobile, the microwave, the video and Internet appear to represent an alien world I would not have believed capable of existing in my early childhood. So our youngsters couldn't be more fortunate.

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Yes, if you love what you are doing passionately and genuinely want to get on with it. There are many reasons why a writer should follow her/his dream and bog away.

1. The Internet presents a golden opportunity to express yourself in unprecedented ways without the editorial straitjacket of someone else's idea of what you should write or even how you should write it. You also have an instant global audience, especially one which is likely to be interested in your subject matter and specific expertise. An audience which is guaranteed to grow as they get used to your subject, bookmark your page and pass on your items to others.

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Technology has dictated the current pace and perspective of our lives with a dominant and unavoidable impact. When I look back to just 30 years ago to see the difference in lifestyle, knowledge and behaviour over those years, it is somewhat alarming to comprehend. When I had my son in 1971, the amenities seemed positively primitive compared to those of having a child now, which are much more inclusive too, being designed to involve the whole family with the birthing process, instead of just the mother. The changes in the home, particularly in furnishings and lifestyle, are just remarkable to an older person like me and would have been phenomenal to my grandmother who had so little no fast foods, no television, no freezer, no washing machine, no dishwasher, no phone, no electric light or oven, no microwave all items considered essential to maintain our current standard of living.

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The main rules for success from dating to marriage are: DON'T CHANGE THE RULES!

It is amazing what transformation in a couple the two little words 'MY husband' and 'MY wife' can bring. There they were, getting on fantastically during the dating process, and suddenly they are married and everything changes, then the marriage itself is blamed for what happens next. But what really changes people are three things:

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Yes, simply because that is the nature of the moment and the age we live in. We cannot turn the clocks back to more 'sensible' times when information was controlled, and only certain people with questionable motives set the public agenda and decide appropriate behaviour for all. We are in new technologically dominating times and we have to get over it. The media revolution we are experiencing, especially with its easy access to instant news, makes concentration on public figures one of the more unpleasant side effects of our new age. But like anything else, media coverage is audience driven. If people did not want to hear a thing about Paris Hilton, if she had no fans or anyone interested in her, she would have faded as a distant memory a long time ago, just like many other famous figures who have long since come and gone.

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Relationships score most highly as causes of stress levels, with work issues trailing behind. After all, if someone is reasonably happy in their personal life, they can weather the storms at work much better than if they are also unhappy at home. Often unhappiness in work, or absenteeism from it, is not dictated by the work environment at all. Personal unhappiness is likely to have its root cause in the home relationship; in problems which people do not find easy to discuss with others, which they tend to keep secret for fear of losing face, or generating gossip, and which make coping with work issues far more difficult and problematic.

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Teenagers are seldom disrespectful without a reason, because every child wants to be loved and valued. They would not risk their feeling of security and inclusion for the sake of it. The following are the most common reasons for disrespect, especially when:

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