Have mercy....I have been away from BP in ages. Life always has a way of taking over my hours, I get pulled in 1,000 different directions and my blogs always end up seeing me go MIA. One of the things that's been eating up my time has been my attempt to figure out a way to make a little more side income from home and I finally decided to turn a pet peeve into profit.

Most of you already have an inkling that I am to the left of batty by about a mile. I think I left my sanity by the wayside when I gave birth to my eldest 4 years ago.....so that means my mental health is probably laying somewhere between West Hollywood and Santa Monica. Please return if found.

I normally watch The Today Show when my son is in preschool and my daughter is napping. It's my guilty pleasure with a couple of cups of joe in the mornings. Today, though, I ended up finding myself switching over to The View while The Today Show was preempted so that that channel 8 could cover the happenings over at Wimbledon. Great. The last thing this bitter old wench wants to watch is a bunch of lithe, beautiful young athletes hitting balls at each other while becoming devastatingly wealthy...so I changed the channel. Not such a great idea...I should have stuck to the pretties on the court.

As if I weren't feeling unattractive enough with my frizzball hair (thanks to the "still winter" weather we're having in Portland even though it is JUNE!), the bags under my eyes large enough to carry all of my crap on an intercontinental journey (thanks to my son thinking that 5:40 am is an awesome time to wake up), I now have the most tremendous cystic zit smack dab in the middle of my forehead.

I'm not sure what is going on in the rest of the country when it comes to this particular fashion trend that has popped up all over Portland, but I can assure you that I have yet to see it on any runway or fashion magazine that I've gotten my hands on lately.....and the trend I'm talking about is pajamas. Really. Pajamas. Every day that I drive my kid to school I see adults, teens, kids, men and women....in pajama pants. And I'm not talking plaid pants that look like flannel pj's....I'm talking actual sleepwear with plaid (yes), bunny prints, clouds, you name it. I don't get it.

Wow....I feel like I have been gone from BP for ages! I keep intending to hop on here and the next thing I know I am exhausted from the daily grind and it's well past midnight so I tell myself I'll write tomorrow....and the next thing I know it's been forever! Ha! Oh well.....

I have nothing but good intentions when it comes to keeping my few blogs alive, and then life happens and my writing stops. Argh! So frustrating. And when I say "life happens" I mean "my kids happen".

To say that I am over the rollercoaster ride we have been on for the past year is to put things very lightly. With all the moving around, illnesses, etc. my husband and I are tattered and worn and now we are being faced with uprooting our son YET AGAIN and taking him out of his new preschool and back to his old one. Have mercy.

Seriously. And I don't mean the kind that comes from consuming vast quantities of beans and rice from the local tex mex place. I mean the kind that goes in your car and makes it go "vroom". What the hell is up with the skyrocketing gas prices? I swear that every day this week gas prices have risen and are now at $3.33 per gallon of regular here in Portland. WTF?

Ok, I give up. Every year I swear that I am gonna start eating healthier and every year I fail miserably. I feed my kids super healthy, fresh foods. I'm something of a nutrition nazi with them with the occasional french fries and happy meal thrown in for a little rebellion, but I suck with myself.

I hate this time of year for one particular reason. Ok, maybe two reasons, but the fact that the weather sucks is something I really need to come to terms with.

What I abhor the most is sitting on my duff for HOURS on end collecting, adding up, and organizing all of our receipts for the past year to get our taxes done. Every year I swear I am gonna be really organized about this and I set up my little file drawer with color coded file folders, tabs, etc, and it works great for the first 2 or so months, then the remaining 10 months out of the year every receipt my husband and I generate ends up in a paper bag in the closet...just dumped in there.

I just got two phone calls on my CELL PHONE from Hillary Clinton today. Granted, it wasn't her personally and she wasn't calling to shoot the crap with me, but it WAS her pre-recorded voice promising that she was gonna be, in essence, the second coming of Christ, yadda yadda.

I find it truly amazing how two tiny human beings can possibly generate such an enormous amount of laundry in as little as three days. I am the one that dresses them, so it always remains a mystery how after a few days half of their wardrobe, if not more, ends up in the hamper. How? Do they get up in the middle of the nigh unbeknownst to me and play dress up while I sleep fitfully across the hall? It's crazy.

Ok, so I may be lacking in things to get really excited about....as is obvious with this post....but I just found out that as of January 24th (as in this Thursday!!!!) Zyrtec is going over the counter!

I have a cell phone. Yes. But I only use it when absolutely necessary and mainly as a source of communication with my agencies. If I don't recognize the number calling me I won't answer it, and if I am hanging out with family or a friend, I let it go to voicemail if I know it's not essential that I pick up.