Marjorie Dorfman's blog

The News Service for the Intellectually Impaired informs a curious public that nine Supreme Court judges have sided with former model and actress Anna Nicole Smith in her right to continue to fight for a share of her late husband’s huge estate. Howard Marshall II was one of the wealthiest men in Texas, and his assets were valued at $1.6 billion dollars at the time of his death in August of 1995. He was 89 years old when he married the topless dancer who was 63 years his junior.

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Surely some of the most beautiful sights in the world are the bold, exquisite tones that Mother Nature has bestowed upon her golden children: tropical plants. Every shade imaginable literally bursts upon the naked eye among the lush blooms and fronds of tropical plants and shrubs. But with all of nature’s infinite variety, one single factor connects them all and that is their point of origin. Their area of the world is unlike any other; lands that basically know no seasonal changes. For the most part, in the tropics, daylight is the same every day of the year and the earth receives an enormous amount of sunlight. This heats the air to sultry temperatures each and every day (not to mention the nights) with only minor variations during the year.

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News Flash (Almost) In the Pan

Is there anyone out there who doesn’t know that full time Scientology freak and part-time heartthrob, Tom Cruise and his lovely bride to be, Katie Holmes, have just had a seven pound baby girl? What does the average man and woman in the street think, however, about the name choice for this little girl who has such public and adoring parents? (Perhaps they couldn’t care less!)

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The unraveling of the mystique surrounding the meeting of someone new is beginning to be a thing of the past, reserved for old movies and die-hard romantics. Nowadays, one is tempted to check “him or her� out before the truth can be uncovered to either set us free or keep us hooked. Is this good? Or does this tell us something else about our dynamic, lazy and neurotic natures?

What the hell happened to personal judgement? Is it that we don’t have any or that it somehow flew out the window as we matured as adults? Is that why we must entrust an impersonal software to uncover dirt on someone who may be very clean? One system, Detective Choice, is very reasonable in price, and for only ten bucks anyone who can read can find out if that new someone has led three four or even five lives with a shady past as a political spy, escaped convict, bigamist, counterfeiter or murderer or worse. (What could be worse? Don’t ask me. I obviously have no judgement of my own to fall back on)

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As if the process of waking up wasn’t difficult enough, now you really have some choices to make! Do you want the IPod™ or AM/ FM Radio with “programmable sleep� or would you prefer the buzzer to transform your reluctant journey from neverland to awakedom?

The choice can only be yours. First of all, the color. You can choose from black, white or silver for the alarm clock, and black or white for the clock radio to match your waking décor. (You could match your sleeping décor, but one can only wonder what that could be.)

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Although I am no expert in either human or animal behavior, I find it extraordinary that the peacock seems to be the only creature in the animal kingdom that is cognizant of its own beauty. The male peafowl in full resplendent plumage (the Elizabeth Taylor of the pheasant family) is surely one of the most spectacular sights in all the world to behold. I met one in San Juan, Puerto Rico at the Hilton Hotel many years ago. A group or muster (as they are called) was strutting through the lobby. One gorgeous fellow spotted me, strutted closer and displayed his dazzling train of tail feathers. He lingered a moment, but not long enough for applause. Ultimately, the sad fact was that while he might have been in heat, I wasn’t. Considering also that I was not a peahen, we were bound to go our separate ways. That old song, Two Different Worlds comes to mind whenever I think of that day.

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A few years ago while visiting friends in sunny Florida, I spent an evening at the dog races for the very first time in my life. Little did I know that these competitions involved a very special breed of dog. I had never met a greyhound up to that time and my exposure to them was limited to short bus trips, visiting various places and people throughout the country. Their grace, vitality and agility mesmerized me. They seemed almost godly creatures, blessed with the speed of Mercury and the beauty of Adonis. (I have been informed and not without some disappointment, that while many ancient Greeks owned them, greyhounds do not have a drop of Greek blood running through their veins.)

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So called because of their fondness for sitting in pairs while pruning each other’s feathers, lovebirds have an unusual history. Known by the genus, Agapornis, some of the species have been known to man for over four centuries while others were not even discovered until a few years ago. Some are very common and others very rare and elusive (like some lovers in the species, human).

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Giraffes are the tallest of mammals, reaching as much as 18 feet in height, with a shoulder height of up to 12 feet. They can easily peer into a second story window even though there are few high-rises along the grasslands and savannas they call home. They are well known for their long necks, long legs and spotted patterns. It was originally thought that they were a cross between a camel and a leopard, a mistake immortalized in their scientific classification as giraffa camelopardis.

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As a writer of ghostly and horror fiction, the fascinating realm of phantoms and specters has always held a special lure. Apparitions have served me well over the years as dramatic symbols of guilt, human frailties and earthly conscience. I had never, however, until a few months ago, experienced an encounter with a real ghost. Truth be told, I am not certain about what actually did unfold, but upon reflection there seems no other conclusion that I can draw upon. But let me start at the beginning, or should I say the end, for my tale begins with the death of my beloved sixteen-year-old cat, Atticus, back in September of this year.

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More than four hundred people in Africa have been killed by rampaging hippos. This figure far exceeds the death toll from lions, tigers or any other wild animal. This seems astounding, considering the fact that the pudgy, almost comic-looking creatures don’t appear as if they could even run fast enough to be dangerous. But they can and often do outrun humans, capable of galloping at 18 mph in an emergency and about half that speed in a trot. They can turn on a dime and climb steep banks, but oddly they are unable to jump and won’t even step over obstacles. If you don’t take my word for it, you might end up the next casualty in this terrifying statistic. Many of the famous African explorers, including Stanley, Livingstone, Burton, Selous, Speke and DuChaillu, all had boating mishaps involving hippos. They all considered the creature to be an underestimated and malicious adversary.

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How do you know you have what it takes to be a teen model? Is being pretty or photogenic enough or are connections and knowing how to market yourself even more inportant? Read on for some tips on how YOU can get started as a teen model.

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We have evolved as shoppers; much like mankind came from nowhere, crossed a land bridge, multiplied, subtracted, divided and conquered. Women came along with them, or maybe even led the way. They learned to cook, comfort, make fire, set the table, vacuum, gossip and SHOP. (This is a chauvinistic, evolutionary theory, and perhaps not as Darwin envisioned The Origin of the Species, but rather as Darwin’s wife might have seen it.)

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Although dolphins probably aren’t the reincarnation of anything besides dolphins, their superior intelligence does make one wonder about just exactly where they came from and why they are here. There is something about this remarkable mammal that stirs the hearts of even the most ambivalent animal watchers. Perhaps it is the trust and vulnerability that seem to live behind that eternal smile. The dolphin’s amiability touches us in a special way and encounters with them are an enriching experience; leaving us with a fascinating awareness that was not there before. The Day of the Dolphin and Flipper are but the tip of the proverbial iceberg. While it wasn’t nice that an iceberg sank the Titanic, this symbol of unseen, unknown dimensions could not be more apt than in this reference to one of nature’s most unusual animals.

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It is a most interesting fact that the patron saint of Ireland was not Irish, and it may mean that there is some hope for the rest of us. He has, however, become synonmous with the Irish culture and heritage, mostly through his service across Ireland during his lifetime. He was born in the latter part of the 4th century AD, either in Scotland or Roman England. His real name seems to have been Maewyn Succat. He was the son of a Roman-British army officer, Calpurnius and I assume a woman, whose name has been lost to history. (I resent that actually.) Though Patricius was his Romanicized name, he was later known as Patrick. When he was 16, his village was attacked. He was captured and sold into slavery in Ireland where he worked as a shepherd. He escaped to Gaul (France) and returned to Ireland as a missionary where he is credited with converting the population to Catholicism.

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