Perilous Times of a young black woman

The anatomy of the Selfish!
Essay by Kelly D. Adolph

December 31, 2007

I'm going to end this year with some critical thoughts on the makeup of the Selfish. Deadbeats are what I like to call them.

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When there are no words left to say. If it has gotten to the point that there isn't anything left to say. You've exhausted all of your communication skills. You've spoken, yelled, screamed, complained, pleaded, begged, etc. until you're blue in the face. You've made several attempts to repair the situation or the relationship, only then are there no words necessary. Except good-bye. Only good-bye or saying nothing at all doesn't allow closure in a relationship. You may have said all that needed to be said, however, your partner may not have. The question then becomes, is it fair to simply walk away with no words because you feel like you've ran out of words.... now it's time to listen!

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Interesting question.
I believe that it is in fact possible to become best friends with your ex. Sometimes people meet and there is an initial physical attraction on top of the intellectual one. WE allow the physical to overtake us, thus causing us to fall into a physical relationship with someone. All the while the intellectual side is still there and in the midst of the mushy stuff, the foundation is being set as a friendship. Sometimes, the mushy stuff ends and it's decided either by one, or the other, or by both that the relationship aspect of "US" is a dead end, however, you find you've fallen into a superior friendship mode that you both love and enjoy.

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Trust is definitely essential for involvement on a relationship aspect. However, most relationships have very little trust in them.
That is why you see women prying into mens personal space in search or a clue. Or men checking or rambling through a woman's purse just to see if he finds anything out the ordinary.

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Whew...
This is definitely a very intriguing topic. And ironically I've come across it at a time when I've had the sheer pleasure of viewing a video that discuss this very thing, and their theory behind the misconception of God.

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CHAPTER FOURTEEN:

Amanda relaxes in her office reading over the monthly report, the first minor break she's had all day. After the four hour board meeting this morning, she had hoped to slip away before two, but it wasn't looking hopeful at all, her telephone buzzes.

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I wish someone could give me a litigate explanation of this thing called life. And while you’re at it. How bout telling me the true sense of spirituality too.
Let me share a story of a girl/woman. We’ll call her Blessed.
Blessed was born into a seriously dysfunctional family. As a child, her parents split early. Her dad had an affair with a high school senior, and left her mother. Her mother was a true to form hypochondriac and very selfish. Ultimately, abandoning this girl, and leaving her to reside in an unwanted household, with her father, now new wife, and new children. During her childhood, neglect was true to form, no matter what Blessed did, and she could not get noticed. So she stopped trying to excel. As a pre-teen, her mother resurfaced, and on one of the occasions when Blessed ran away, she ended up at her mother’s hole in the wall. During that time, her mother’s now beau decided he liked little girls instead of women. And he stole her innocents. At fourteen a stranger walking down the block decided to do the same thing. This time at gun point in an abandoned house. At 16, her great grandfather tried to steal what little innocents she had left, only by this time, she was so angry and hostile, she blew up at him.

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One thing that has always interest me is the theory, "You've got to pay to play!"

I know we live in a time where nothing comes for free, but is it truly necessary to sell yourself short for a couple of bucks.

I'm speaking today on women that feel compelled to only involve themselves in a relationship based on the financial status of a man. The women that deal only in relationships that are financially satisfying to her.

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It’s almost 12 a.m. on a Wednesday night here in Michigan. The air has a cool breeze, the sky is clear, the house is quiet and serene. I’m sitting here at my desk, which is where I’ve been since I walked in the door two hours ago. Not writing, not editing, no research, simply deep in my thoughts.
There are a number of things that are parading through my head, but I feel compelled to only comment on one. The one that is the dominant force in the cerebral cortex of this brain.

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I feel compelled to dig deep this month with my brotha’s and sistah’s. Let’s talk about the cheater, and the cheated. Or in some cases the cheated on, and the cheated with. (smile)
Being a woman who has been on every end of this octagon of emotions, I think it’s safe to assume I have a bit of personal knowledge when it comes to the cheater, the cheated, the cheated with.

Let’s start with “The Cheater‿. This is a person who simply has their own needs ahead of everyone and everything else. I’ll stand firm and say that cheating is so very meaningless when one can simply tell the truth about their desires and needs. You lure in your prey unwillingly with good intentions spilling over, all the while knowing that your sole purpose is a need to conquer a conquest. In most cases when you started out, you knew good and well, you had no inner intentions on pursuing anything meaningful and committed. So why then did you not just share that information before allowing your mate to get sunk into the trap? It’s man’s need to dominate any and every situation. If I share the TRUTH, my chances of acquiring what I want at the time, will quite possibly be dissuaded. Therefore, I’ll get what I want first, and if it’s any good, again, and again, before I expose the inevitable. “Well…that was fun. NEXT!‿

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