As a birth doula and childbirth educator I find myself entrenched in the medical establishments fear-based model of care for birthing mama's. What I see and feel discouraged by is the loss of the sanctity and sacredness of birth as a rite of passage because doctors are not even receiving the necessary training to see moms through a normal labor and delivery. Instead, they are being trained to manage the labor using drugs and other invasive procedures so that the birth can be more predictable, attempting to reduce the chances of something going wrong and therefore minimizing their liability. Unfortunately, it is often these measures that are taken to prevent "something going wrong" that actually creates a situation where something can go wrong. Ricky Lake has created a wonderful documentary about birth in our culture called, "The Business of Being Born". Here is a link to the documentary website where you can watch a preview and get more information. No pregnant mama should miss this one!

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Wow, it has been over a year I think since I have posted here. I forgot how much I love reading the other blogs on blogger party. My life has been a series of chaotic changes over the last year. Not all bad necessarily but I have to admit that I am not one of those roll with the punches kind of gals so any change, good or bad, can cause me to feel completely overwhelmed and unsure of everything.

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For some time now I have been listening to myself and my friends talk about our significant others using harsh criticisms and reaching brash conclusions about what it is that they really care about.These words carry the sting of resentment. Resentment that can only come from our unfulfilled expectations.My husband is always telling me not to have expectations; that they only get you into troule. Depending on where you sit, the person actually getting into trouble changes.

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So I 've just been in for the fourth time this evening between the hours of 7:30pm and 11:00pm to put my six month old son back to sleep. He was crying, well screaming actually, so I decided to change his diaper while I was at it. I was looking at the torturous look upon his face and I had to laugh; I mean how bad is it for you really? I imagine his conversation with Adult and Family Services. "Sometimes (pause) they actually leave the room..without me," he'd say. "They leave the room and I don't know if or when they're coming back.There is another little girl here and sometimes they leave her alone in the same room with me.

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I don't know why there has to be the struggle, always the struggle. Power struggle? Perhaps. Battle of wills? Definitely. When I am able to take a step back and hear myself yelling like crazy at my two year old to put on her coat I cringe. I am so ridiculous. But yet, there I am, yelling louder and louder as if she can't hear me and being louder will increase the speed with which she will succumb to my will and put on her coat. Patience is a virtue, as they say, and I am being put to the test and not coming up virtuous. I feel like I shouldn't have to jump through hoops in order to get her to do such a simple task.

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