A few weekends ago I went on a blind date. I will not be doing that again. First of all, I got lost 3 times in one night driving to and from philly. Did I mention I hate driving in philly? On the way home, I ended up IN CAMDEN! I was freaking out already from being lost, but my mom has put the fear of camden into me big time. So I called my best friend JG and she was half asleep, but she got me home in one peice.
So anyway, back to the date...It's not that I'm lonely. I like being alone. I mainly went out of curiosity. So anyway, the guy was nice, funny, and cute. Cute the way babies and other small things are cute. Unluckily for him, I don't like "cute" guys. I only like tall, handsome, funny, deep-thinking guys who might be able to beat me at scrabble. That's the only type I seem to be attracted to. I've tried doing things the hard way (going out with guys who I have things in common with, and seeing if an attraction develops over time, and when it inevitably doesn't, I end up breaking the guy's heart).
I've had about 4 or 5 'serious' relationships, but I've only been in love with 2 of those guys. Both of them were over 6 feet tall (already on that proverbial pedastool), funny, and could beat me at scrabble.
B was my first love from when I was 17 years old. My relationship with B was the only one so far that did not end abruptly in some tragic way, we parted amicably. I dreamed about him every night for 2 years after that. (I am now 24, by the way).
The other guy I really loved was my most recent exbf. In waking life, J was the personification of all of my negative traits, so of course I was madly in love with him.
I read in a book that relationships never die. Meaning you will always have a tie to someone who you've loved. At first I thought this was just a bunch of bs, but now I realize that it's true, because in dreams I can't escape my old relationships. Even though I rarely think about J when I'm awake, he shows up in dreams a lot.
I also read somewhere that when someone is about to get married, it's common to have dreams about old flames. Well, I'm not getting married, and I don't even have or want a boyfriend, so what's the deal here?
Anyway, the old me wanted to 'stop the world and melt with' whoever I was in a relationship with. That part of my died (actually J killed it). The new and improved me only needs a man to kill bugs and open jars. Everything else, I can handle myself. Don't get me wrong, having a guy around is nice sometimes, but not essential.