I was or I am all of those things that you just said, the problem is I forgot that I had the means to find happiness on my own. What I wrote had something deeper in it. I got sucked into the 'If I can make you happy by letting you see that the world is beautiful then I become happy too' world, or the 'I understand everything and let me help you find the way drama', what else? oh there's this 'I am your forever friend and I dont get easily offended by anything', LOL. (and I do it to most people in life haha)its not really being a loser in the sense that I was trying to give, but it got too much in its psychological and emotional sense if you know what I mean. When I said 'financial' what I meant was appreciating what I am really capable of (buying, places to go, more chances of meeting other people, boxing classes, trip to the best beaches etc, you cant deny the fact that finances does help improve our way of living or how we see the world) instead of being sucked down by those who are not really worth it. Its time that I really venture on my own and I am not talking about it just in its literal sense. till next time my dear.

Sometimes we get stuck in societies where they value certain things more than the other, or sometimes these standards are all just in our heads instilled by our growing up years. For a certain time we think that we are doing great because of our great understanding of what we thought should be until we realize that we've given up who we are or what we are capable of just to receive applause and approval from the society that is ever so critical. I am going to live my life in a different way (I know it sounds corny and overrated. lol) my foot firmly on the grounds of the earth, being just me using all my resources to have a wonderful life rather than just trying to be the lovely girl that everyone steps on. I know you are still getting me even if I seem to be jumping from one thing to another. kisses

and yeah I dont have plans of being a serial killer. :D