Blame conservatives. Blame liberals. Blame women. Blame men. Blame blacks. Blame whites. Blame browns. Blame religion. Blame atheism. Blame science. Blame drugs. Blame alcohol. Blame capitalism. Blame communism. Blame socialism. Blame competition. Blame cooperation. Blame homosexuality. Blame hyper sexuality. Blame homophobia. Blame sexual frustration. Blame money. Blame lack of money. Blame beauracracy. Blame anarchy. Blame small business. Blame big business. Blame fat people. Blame skinny people. Blame smokers. Blame non-smokers. Blame god. Blame Jesus. Blame satan. Blame Bush. Blame Gore. Blame global warming. Blame watermelon(?). Blame Korea. Blame jock itch. Blame education. Blame lack of education. Blame the bank. Blame fast food. Blame bodily fluids. Blame mommy. Blame daddy. Blame brother. Blame sister. Blame steroids. Blame modern technology. Blame lack of modern technology. Blame anybody blaming you.

Blame, blame, blame, blame, blame.

If I have missed any group or institution that ought to be blamed for small- or large-scale wrongs, please add to the list now. I think we need a menu of blame, to simplify and optimize our blame/victim experience.

I think it is important to compile a list of all that renders us poor humans victims. You know, we are all victims. And it may be helpful to have this list, because certain victim situations may require different ogres to blame. For instance, if I am feeling victimized as a result of not having a date tonight, I cannot very well blame religion or say, liberals. I will have to drop down on the menu, to say, hmmm…I think I will choose ‘lack of money’ for this one.

Yes, that’s it. A lack of money will disallow me to have a date because I will not be able to show my date the good time I want to without said resources. Yes. I blame a lack of money.

See how it works?

A virtual ‘Blame Menu’ will give all victims a good opportunity to optimize their victim status relative to whatever the situation or circumstance dictates.

It is extremely important that any victim or victim wannabes NOT get caught up in that psycho-foofoo crap called personal responsibility. If you allow this to creep into your reality then you will have less of a victim-leg to stand on. In fact, some harsh critics may even suggest that you have the power to modify your unfortunate circumstance.

Do not take the bait. It will only lead to good. And then, this Blame Menu will be of no value to you. So remember---

Blame, Blame, Blame/Victim,Victim,Victim.

Memo to real victims—those who have suffered horrific injustice and/or abuse and would like nothing better than to break free from the shackles of your ongoing hell—I am truly sorry for what you are going through. Likely, the faux victims who will benefit from this ‘Blame Menu’ would benefit more from knowing that you would like nothing more than to assume responsibility for your emotional well-being, unfettered by what someone or something has perpetrated upon you.

deorre

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