Sometime Thursday morning, Anna Nicole Smith, former supermodel and Playboy Playmate, was committed somewhere in the Bahamas.

While the ceremony was officiated, "...it was not a wedding, and no marriage certificate was issued," a press release from TrimSpa noted. It was an officiated (but impromptu) ceremony in which Anna Nicole and attorney, Howard K. Stern, made a "commitment before God" to remain together through these troubled times.

I'm not sure Anna Nicole understands exactly what a wedding is, but I'm damn sure Mr. Stern does -- he managed to marry the supermodel without having to buy her a ring or having any real documents to prove it happened. I don't think many other women would have gone for it, but Anna, Anna, Anna, Anna Nicole is smart like a rock.

In the midst of all of this, one Larry Birkhead claims to be the father of the semi-actress' newborn daughter. He accuses Stern of being jealous of his relationship with the former supermodel whose marriage to the late billionaire, Howard J. Marshall, robbed us all of the porn career for which she was surely destined. Why couldn't he have just bought a Porsche?