Due to work and my social life I have not watched televison in five years. I have spent the last few months catching up on what everyone else has already watched. Re-runs are all brand new shows to me. I promised myself that I would be more productive today. I was doing really good until about an hour ago. I was only going to listen while I did my housework.

Then Divorce Court came on. I tried very hard to continue working but, Judge Mablean Ephriam made the comment, “ He made one little slip up and you want to call the marriage off.� Slip up? Oh my! Is cheating really a slip up? A person is completely aware of what they are doing at the time they are being unfaithful. I don’t know of many people who have actually blacked out and woke up having sex with another person. And if this is the case you need not worry about your morals on fidelity. I would suggest an AA meeting instead because drinking is obviously your “real� problem.

I cannot accept that a person does not have control of their own actions. Being cheated on is the coldest and the emptiest feeling another person could ever inflict. A person feels that they were not good enough, that there was something wrong with them. I do have a better understanding of infidelity than in the past. That it has nothing to do with the person being cheated on and has everything to do with the cheater. That doesn’t ease the pain but maybe gives a better understanding.

Is the act forgivable? Will another individual’s mistakes haunt you? What does it really take to go on with life and trust your partner again? Does it take a big person to continue to love and allow them your trust again? Or is it being the stronger one to walk away to guarantee that it won’t happen again. Does a cheater even know the pain they cause the one who loves them?
You can totally break a persons spirit. This is the ultimate betrayal. It is the worse lie that could ever be told. The promise to love only one person the rest of your life, that same broken promise has ended lives.

I have heard many excuses about why it happens, but my favorite has to be the one of “it was an accident.� What? An accident? So you were walking along and slipped, fell, and ended up accidently penetrating another woman with your penis? Well hell, in that case your forgiven, that could happen to anyone. These are the people who I feel do not have a conscience about it. Because they do it for their own insecurities without any thought about anyone else. When it "just happens� is no excuse. Sex don’t ever ‘just� happen. Sex is very well thought out long before it occurs. Even when you don’t plan to have sex that day, you know it could happen someday.

I have worked overtime many times in my life. Never have I just out of the blue got an over whelming attraction for another co-worker that lead to my engaging into a long passionate kiss. I have never wanted to be thrown up on my desk and be taken by a boss in the middle of a meeting. Sex don’t just happen.

We have now the other side of infidelity. The rational reasoning of if you love a person then you forgive that person for their weakness. You are supportive and get counseling. Love is forgiveness. You have to consider if your relationship is worth salvaging. While I do not accept excuses for it, I do accept solutions.

Once a cheater always a cheater. I don’t believe that to be true either. It is all circumstantial and depends on all of who are involved. I do believe that in some cases it can be forgiven. I also believe that there are men and women who no matter what or who they’re with, they’ll will cheat. They will never feel secure enough to devote themselves to one lover. They have to feel wanted and admired by the opposite sex at all times. Like any addict this behavior will continue until they seek help. It depends on how supportive and in love you are if your going to stand behind them.

One thing I have always wanted to speak out on, are the misleading facts about infidelity. Statistics show us that men are more likely to cheat than women. This is inaccurate, men are more open to speak out about it, were women are more likely going to deny doing it at all. We are doing surveys on cheating with people who lie and we expect honesty? If someone feels guilty enough they lie to themselves and everyone to the point they believe they have never cheated.

Whether it is right or wrong, forgivable or not, I know the devastation that comes along with it. We cannot control another persons actions but only chose how much we are willing to live with. Every situation is different and it should be approached in that manner. I find nothing more attractive and appealing than making love to only one man the rest of my life.