Well here it is another day and literally another dollar, at work yet again. Although I can't complain too much the people here are pretty cool and laid back.

I have to admit my jobs could be a lot worse, I don't do physical labor like alot of people and spend my day chatting to people and making people relatively happy (if there is such a thing.).

So back to my life...thinking of spicing it up alittle...not that it doesn't have enough upheavel in it...

I admit I am a total S&M junkie, love whips and chains...the sound, feel and everything about them...been awhile since I was able to get back into it, had a son, got ill and had to recover fully first...but I AM BACK WITH A VENGANCE!!!!!!!!!!

I used to love being a Domme..the feel of straps hitting fresh skin, the sound it makes whistling thru the air, the squeal of pain, terror and anticipation. Ok, yes
I at this moment sound crazy...(and I am) but it is the one thing in the world that
makes me happy (other than my son).

I love being submissive as well, to a certain degree, love the same things as above done to me (and much more), but I am an outspoken, hardcore women who most people find hard to deal with...I like to have my own way and I am not afraid to speak my mind when I want to and when I feel I have something to say regardess if how the other person will feel, as I am sure that the few friends I have will attest to.

I have to get some work done but I will be adding to this later, stay tuned!!!!!!

Back to my little discussion here on my crazy mixed up life..

I have done some crazy insane things in my life, nothing that I would ever be ashamed of or that I have a need to be ashamed of...

For example, I lost my virginity at 14 in a McDonalds. Yes I did say McDonalds and yes I was working there and yes it was another employee and yes he was a lousy lay..but hey everyone has to lose it somehow. I than spent the next few years jumping from lousy lay to lousy lay.

Now before you jump to any conclusions about what a slut I am (and yes I am one) I went to all girls Catholic school and everyone did it, not that is any excuse for being a slut but hey it is the best one I could come up with at the moment!!!

I apologize to no one for being who I am or what I am. Hell who knows better than me what I am...and I LIKE ME !!!!!!!!!! (sometimes).

I have had two rather interesting marriages, one almost 15 years ago, wow, that sounds scary even to me. I married a man for all the wrong reasons and learned it the hard way, he was alcholic and a drug addict. We were married 5 months before he tried to kill me and that was that..short lived and glad it is over.

My second marriage is even more interesting. I have been married almost 2 years and my husband and I do not reside in the same house. We live a half block from each other. We love each other, just can't live in the same house or we would probably kill each other. We have an open committed relationship that to most people is not only unique but extremely weird. We talk to each other all the time, stay at each other house. I cook and clean for him and he cleans up the litter box for me...lol...We play together and seperate and are always careful but are committments are to each other and no one else...he knows exactly which buttons to push to make me angry and which to make me sad and he is the one person in the world who can make me angry the fastest..but I still love him. Can't help who you love I guess. He tries to understand my problems, doesn't always succeed but at least he tries, more than alot of people I know. That is his picture (obviously) on my profile.

I haven't been able to upload any pictures as of yet as I am computerless and using everyone else while mine is being installed...so as soon as it is, look out world the pictures will start flowing.

Back to other important things...friends...few and far between I must admit...females find me hard to deal with on every level, men don't like the fact I am opinated and outspoken and a huge flirt when in the mood to flirt.

When I go out for a good time, I dress as sleazy as possible and make every possible play I can. My friends, who are just as bad as me, especially my best friend Vashtee. She is just as much if not more of a flirt than me. We have been friends now for 10 years and met doing phone sex. We were both pregnant at the time with our sons and something sort of clicked. We have had our moments trust me, but she has seen me thru some very hard times and I will always cherish her friendship.

I have to admit other than Vash, I have few real women friends, Christina, my boss, confidant, and one person who is just as outrageous as me. We had one major uproar in our 2 year friendship but we both understand each other alittle better for it I think and she is kick ass, someone I know I can trust and whom I can also get drunk with..lol

I have know Barb a short time but find her to be an intelligent confident woman who is going to turn into one of those few people I trust.

Other women in my life are acquaintances, not really friends, but not non friends either, women I like to hang with occassionally but wouldn't probably tell my deepest darkest secrets too. But who in times of need I will always help if I can.

Now male friends, more of those than anything else in my life...to start with Tommy...a great guy who can make me laugh under the best and worst of circumstances...who has a great boyfriend (Christian). The two of them are so meant for each other, they compliment each other wonderfully and I hope I get to spend more time with both of them. I was only introduced to Christian Sunday at the Gay Pride Parade when Tommy, Christian, Vash, Amanda and Alfredo crashed my new apartment...what a hoot all of them blasted and having a great time...

Richard and Adam are great and I love them both. Known Richard since before my first marriage and although we don't get to see each other alot anymore I still love him and cherish his friendship. His partner Adam is a great guy and they make each other happy and I am happy for both of them....they are a great couple and alot of laughs.

Glenn is one of my old boyfriends and although I don't see him alot anymore either, I still consider him a good friend and would help him thru whatever as I know he would for me. I talk to him alot on the phone and he will never change a confirmed bachelor and happy with his life...good for him.

Darien is Vash's ex husband and although my loyalties lay with Vash, Darien is still my friend and I will always listen when he needs someone to talk to. Vash knows this and is cool with it....she doesn't hate he ex, just have different lives now, which is cool. She understand my point on this subject and for that I am glad.
She will always be first but I won't cutoff y friendship with Darien because they are getting a divorce.

I have been testing the waters lately with some new aspects of my life. I have come to the the conclusion that swapping partners and sleeping with women isn't so bad. There are worse things in life you could be doing that don't feel half as good. I have to admit that I live a totally alternative lifestyle that most people don't understand nor care to without the comment "that is just sick" PEOPLE DON'T MAKE THAT COMMENT UNLESS YOU HAVE BEEN THERE AND NO WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!!
People like me who choose to live this lifestyle have feelings and since we do not comment on your "vanilla" lifestyle the same would be appreciated.
When I was a Domme I was called everything from a whore to a slut (yes there is that word again) all because alot of people I knew had no idea what the concept was. Don't judge til you have walked in my shoes or anyone elses.

It amazes me how many people judge others lifestyles and yet don't want their own judged. Or even worse make uninformed comments...at least have the courtesy to know that you are talking about. Than we can debate the subject but til than keep your uninformed comments to yourself.