I'm a natural people pleaser. I've never learned to say no. I seek approval from the family and friends in my life. I fear rejection and disapproval. I try at all costs to make everyone happy. Sadly, I am still a failure at pleasing people. In the process it has cost me relationships, evoked criticism and made me a welcome mat to step on. I am miserable, depressed and stressed reminding myself of all the wasted time trying to please the unappeasable individuals. Life is difficult enough I just wished I learned sooner that I will never be able to make everyone happy. The harder you try, the more people expect from you and you never learn to say no.

I've spent so long living in fear of my failures and my past. I've quit looking to the road ahead and at times just given up hope. Hope that things will get better, hope for someone to accept my quirks, my shortcoming, someone to accept myself. It's like being in a dark room with no lights and no light switch. You feel lost, dejected and very much alone. I am hoping that most of you understand how I felt.

After major nudging and lots of thought my life begins to take a turn, my eyes a new direction. I believe I've forgot about someone in my life that should be more important than people's approval. It is alarming how easily I pushed God to the back of my life. He wasn't even considered in my search for approval. Shouldn't his opinion matter most?

I'm ashamed that I've lived for pleasing people rather than God. I sought approval from the wrong source. God knows we aren't perfect, we will continually make mistakes. God knows we're only human. But I must ask what if made our lives about pleasing him? Would we see broken relationships mended, a darkened room would be filled with light, a broken heart filled with hope? I have no doubt we would find the joy and peace that so many of our lives lack. All he asks that we come as we are, even with our hearts and lives filled hate, deceit, shame, greed and we lay at the throne of his grace. He promises through Christ he will do the rest. It's asking what’s more important pleasing people or pleasing God.

Paul states in Galatians 1:10 a realization it has taken me too long to learn "If I were still trying to please people, I would not be Christ's servant."